She Gon' Done it Agin!
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
As many of my readers are aware, I'm a spender. Not a saver. Self-control has NEVER been my strong suit -- particularly when it comes to shoes, bags, dieting, and all things related to home decor. I go through peaks and valleys of STUFF...I'll accumulate a mountain of things I don't need, then 6 mo. later, purge almost everything. Some stuff I sell, others I donate, depending on the condition. See, internet, MY HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE. I can't begin to explain the viscious cycles of self-loathing and self-reinforcement that I go through sometimes. I have (quite literally) an angel on one shoulder, and a devil on the other.

This morning I bought a very nice digital camera. It definitely falls in the "want" column, but the opportunity presented itself, and I went for it. I see this as a double-edged sword, because now I will be forced to freeze my credit card. Literally - I'm going to put it in a ziploc bag full of water and stick it in the freezer. That way, I'll think twice before I using it again.

Anyway, I bought a pretty impressive camera (relative to my currently limited ability) for a pretty impressive price (relative to my currently somewhat limited income). I'm VERY excited about it but afraid simultaneously. I want to show it off to people, but there's the guilt factor too...should I have purchased it? Will I end up regretting spending the money? It's something I've been thinking about investing in for about 6-7 months, and just never bit the bullet, so to speak. I know that there are certain people that will be upset with me for spending my money irresponsibly. A part of me was screaming, "DON'T DO IT!" but the other part of me (that likes to spoil itself) said, "Why not?!"

I can hear my mother now, "Jamers, money is meant to be spent." and my father, "Make a list of 3 reasons why you need the camera and then decide." No wonder my buying patterns are so unpredictable and decisions ultimately leave me conflicted. Moral of the story: This blog is going to have a lot more pictures on it in the future. And they won't be ones that I have to hijack from a random website.