Strange Morning
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Two odd stories about my morning so far:

1. Upon my asking "What can I do to help you out today?" to one of my colleagues, I received an answer of "Leave me alone." Oddly, I am not at all offended by this remark, as I know this person relatively well - or at least enough to understand that the remark was made on a literal level, no emotions involved. I love being on the same wavelength (like this) with people. No pussy-footing around for me. Tell me how it is, and I'll go on about my business.

2. I pass 4 crossing guards on my way to work each morning, 1 on west Belmont, 1 on Damen, and 2 on different stretches of Logan Boulevard. The second one has a distinct, lazy pattern about her crossing guard work that I didn't notice until today. She stops traffic, lets the children get about halfway across the street, then heads back to her post on the sidewalk. EXCUSE ME?! THEY'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A 4 LANE BLVD AND YOU'RE STANDING ON THE SIDEWALK WATCHING?!?!?! The other 3 guards always stand in the center of the road, arms extended, and stare down the traffic as if to say, "When these children are on my crosswalk, they're mine. If you even so much as roll forward an inch, I swear to God, I'll come over there and..." But NOOOOOO, this lazy crossing guard just watches from the sidelines. Maybe I should report her. There must be some Better Bureau of Crossing Guard-dom, or something, right? If I were a mother of one of those children, I'd take her reflective orange vest and shove it so far up her behind, that she'd have neon orange hairballs for a week.