Aah, the dog days of summer. Images of outdoor eateries and CountryTime Lemonade commercials spring immediately to mind. People are smiling, the sun is shining, and all is right with the world.
Just off camera, around the corner, and two buildings into a smelly alley, you'll find my garage sale. Let me preface the meat of this post by saying that I don't do anything small or spontaneous, especially when planning any kind of event. Weeks of preparation, sign making, online classified ad placing, sorting, pricing, box making - sufficed to say that I put some serious pressure on myself to have a successful yard sale. That's what happens when the personality of an event planner resides in the same brain as an incredibly meticulous and organized person. Here's a snapshot of the weekend, as misery does indeed love company.
Friday: Spent all night pricing in the garage, sorting, unpacking boxes of knick-knacks that my mom dropped off. You can set the scene in a dusty garage with holes in the walls, and only one light - the one attached to the garage door motor. If anyone local noticed that a strange garage door kept going up and down, every 8 minutes on Friday, you can send any complaints to me at 1234 N. F--- You St., Chicago, IL, 60657. We needed that light, dammit.
Saturday: Awake at 6:00 am, in the backyard by 6:30 setting up. Finished setting up at 8:30 (with the lovely help of newly knick-knack free mother). First customer arrived at 8:35. Sale opened at 9:00 on the dot, as advertised. First rain shower of the day at 9:15. Commence wild running about, tarp gathering and application, and overall deflation of Jamie's good spirits. Tarps and plastic tableclothes are a nice solution, but it's difficult to sell a vase (even an ugly one) when it's sitting inch-deep in mud. Sun came out, tarps came off, and toweling down of the backyard began at 9:45. Second rain shower, 10:00. That rain -- he sure is a punctual bastard. By 10:30, there was consistent sun in the sky and I had learned 5 new ways to scowl. Rest of day went according to plan, if by "plan" you mean negotiating with people over $1, forgetting to ingest ANY caffeine the entire day, and watching indifferently as people steal jewelry.
* Editors note: Huge props to Jeff, JenH, and KateK for assisting with the labor of putting all our worldly goods back into the garage for the night. You saved us hours of work. Thank you so much!
Sunday: Awake at a much friendlier hour of 8:00 am, and in a much better mood after having decided to run the sale from the not-so-friendly confines of the garage. Signs were amended, new arrows drawn, and coffee drunk by 10:00 when the sale opened. Slow day overall, but still successful. Knick-Knack Queen assisted with set-up and stayed until lunchtime, when SMD took her place as my yard sale sidekick. The weather was approximately 104 degrees, with 70% humidity, so needless to say foot traffic was somewhat light. I went outside to see if people were out and about in the heat, but it was so much hotter in the sun that I ran back to the shade of the garage for fear that I would instantly explode into a thousand, tiny droplets of fire. And because I didn't put any sunblock on that morning. I'm fair skinned so just shut up about it, already. SMD and I listened to some NASCAR while I tried to convince people to take advantage of my "Sunday Special" - anything/everything you can fit into a bag for ONLY $5 DOLLARS! WHAT A STEAL! Some bit, others didn't. I spent the twilight hours dripping in sweat, boxing up the leftovers for eventual donation to some charity. Hopefully they will appreciate the rusty christmas tree stand, broken reading lamp, and 2 mismatched blue ottomans - not to mention a HUGE box of very expensive sweaters, a set of bar glasses with a "J" etched on the exterior, some old sheets with a Scottish Terrier print on them, and 3 heinous decoupage plaques that my grandfather made at summer camp in 1934.
Overall, I've learned several things about myself in this little resale venture:
- You never know what people will buy, like the crazy Jamaican lady who purchased that GOD-AWFUL foam duck decoy with real duck feathers.
- I have great friends and family. Even if said family packed boxes in 1975 and didn't open them until 1 hour before the yard sale started.
- I hate summer. Oh wait...I already knew that.
- One man's trash is another man's...trash. But that doesn't mean they won't pay for it.
- Infomercial purchases that I regret making really excite other people!
- Smashing really ugly things before putting them in other people's dumpsters is fun, and therapeutic!
- I am remarkably unsympathetic about the guy who bought the Old Style lighted beer sign, that doesn't light up anymore. You don't want to test it? Not my problem. I am a morality free zone.
I was so stressed about this sale that I didn't take any pictures of the event for this blog. (a clear indicator that my priorities are completely out-of-whack) Some of the folk that comment on this blog stopped by the sale to see me in various states of mental breakdown. Feel free to comment on your thoughts about the sale, ladies and gentlemen. It's over and I'm happy about it.
Total monies accrued: I'm not sure. About $500. Most of which will go in the bank, but some of which paid for a nice dinner last night (with a yummy bottle of red wine), and will pay for pre-vacation things like shoes, earrings, and a manicure. Because I can, so financial solvency can SUCK IT for the time being. I have needs.
Just off camera, around the corner, and two buildings into a smelly alley, you'll find my garage sale. Let me preface the meat of this post by saying that I don't do anything small or spontaneous, especially when planning any kind of event. Weeks of preparation, sign making, online classified ad placing, sorting, pricing, box making - sufficed to say that I put some serious pressure on myself to have a successful yard sale. That's what happens when the personality of an event planner resides in the same brain as an incredibly meticulous and organized person. Here's a snapshot of the weekend, as misery does indeed love company.
Friday: Spent all night pricing in the garage, sorting, unpacking boxes of knick-knacks that my mom dropped off. You can set the scene in a dusty garage with holes in the walls, and only one light - the one attached to the garage door motor. If anyone local noticed that a strange garage door kept going up and down, every 8 minutes on Friday, you can send any complaints to me at 1234 N. F--- You St., Chicago, IL, 60657. We needed that light, dammit.
Saturday: Awake at 6:00 am, in the backyard by 6:30 setting up. Finished setting up at 8:30 (with the lovely help of newly knick-knack free mother). First customer arrived at 8:35. Sale opened at 9:00 on the dot, as advertised. First rain shower of the day at 9:15. Commence wild running about, tarp gathering and application, and overall deflation of Jamie's good spirits. Tarps and plastic tableclothes are a nice solution, but it's difficult to sell a vase (even an ugly one) when it's sitting inch-deep in mud. Sun came out, tarps came off, and toweling down of the backyard began at 9:45. Second rain shower, 10:00. That rain -- he sure is a punctual bastard. By 10:30, there was consistent sun in the sky and I had learned 5 new ways to scowl. Rest of day went according to plan, if by "plan" you mean negotiating with people over $1, forgetting to ingest ANY caffeine the entire day, and watching indifferently as people steal jewelry.
* Editors note: Huge props to Jeff, JenH, and KateK for assisting with the labor of putting all our worldly goods back into the garage for the night. You saved us hours of work. Thank you so much!
Sunday: Awake at a much friendlier hour of 8:00 am, and in a much better mood after having decided to run the sale from the not-so-friendly confines of the garage. Signs were amended, new arrows drawn, and coffee drunk by 10:00 when the sale opened. Slow day overall, but still successful. Knick-Knack Queen assisted with set-up and stayed until lunchtime, when SMD took her place as my yard sale sidekick. The weather was approximately 104 degrees, with 70% humidity, so needless to say foot traffic was somewhat light. I went outside to see if people were out and about in the heat, but it was so much hotter in the sun that I ran back to the shade of the garage for fear that I would instantly explode into a thousand, tiny droplets of fire. And because I didn't put any sunblock on that morning. I'm fair skinned so just shut up about it, already. SMD and I listened to some NASCAR while I tried to convince people to take advantage of my "Sunday Special" - anything/everything you can fit into a bag for ONLY $5 DOLLARS! WHAT A STEAL! Some bit, others didn't. I spent the twilight hours dripping in sweat, boxing up the leftovers for eventual donation to some charity. Hopefully they will appreciate the rusty christmas tree stand, broken reading lamp, and 2 mismatched blue ottomans - not to mention a HUGE box of very expensive sweaters, a set of bar glasses with a "J" etched on the exterior, some old sheets with a Scottish Terrier print on them, and 3 heinous decoupage plaques that my grandfather made at summer camp in 1934.
Overall, I've learned several things about myself in this little resale venture:
- You never know what people will buy, like the crazy Jamaican lady who purchased that GOD-AWFUL foam duck decoy with real duck feathers.
- I have great friends and family. Even if said family packed boxes in 1975 and didn't open them until 1 hour before the yard sale started.
- I hate summer. Oh wait...I already knew that.
- One man's trash is another man's...trash. But that doesn't mean they won't pay for it.
- Infomercial purchases that I regret making really excite other people!
- Smashing really ugly things before putting them in other people's dumpsters is fun, and therapeutic!
- I am remarkably unsympathetic about the guy who bought the Old Style lighted beer sign, that doesn't light up anymore. You don't want to test it? Not my problem. I am a morality free zone.
I was so stressed about this sale that I didn't take any pictures of the event for this blog. (a clear indicator that my priorities are completely out-of-whack) Some of the folk that comment on this blog stopped by the sale to see me in various states of mental breakdown. Feel free to comment on your thoughts about the sale, ladies and gentlemen. It's over and I'm happy about it.
Total monies accrued: I'm not sure. About $500. Most of which will go in the bank, but some of which paid for a nice dinner last night (with a yummy bottle of red wine), and will pay for pre-vacation things like shoes, earrings, and a manicure. Because I can, so financial solvency can SUCK IT for the time being. I have needs.
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