I went to pilates at my new gym last night. I'm not an expert or anything, but I've done my share of pilates in the past...I have no idea what we did last night, but it sure wasn't pilates. The instructor was clearly new to the discipline, and stumbled over herself attempting to describe the motions to our MASSIVE 3-person class.
I wish I could say that my sore abdominals are the most embarassing part of this whole experience (I'm rusty, people. Very rusty at this thing they call exercise) but, alas, there was something else.
During one section of developmental ab work, there is rolling involved - basically you hug your knees into your chest, open your knees (keeping your feet together) and grab onto the outside of your ankles. Pulling your feet slightly off the ground, you roll from your "sit" bones (aka tailbone, ass, booty) back onto your shoulder blades, then roll back to sitting.
I couldn't do it. Why, you ask? BECAUSE MY CHEST GOT IN THE WAY. MY CHEST. THE GIRLS. LAVERNE & SHIRLEY. MARY KATE & ASHLEY. MY CANS. THEY WERE TOO BIG.
The capitalization above is brough to you by the letters W, T, and F for WTF?!?!?! I actually had to ask (read: stammer quietly) the instructor for a modification that would allow me to complete the motion. The other women in my class actually LAUGHED OUT LOUD at me. It was mortifying.
I know it's a sign that I've gained weight (everywhere, apparently) when I can't accomplish a basic Pilates roll with my arms and hooters jammed up between my damn knees. Clearly, this is the first time I've EVER had this problem.
Of all the physical exercise goals I've set for myself, being able to comfortably rock back and forth on my ass was never one of them. Pathetic.
I wish I could say that my sore abdominals are the most embarassing part of this whole experience (I'm rusty, people. Very rusty at this thing they call exercise) but, alas, there was something else.
During one section of developmental ab work, there is rolling involved - basically you hug your knees into your chest, open your knees (keeping your feet together) and grab onto the outside of your ankles. Pulling your feet slightly off the ground, you roll from your "sit" bones (aka tailbone, ass, booty) back onto your shoulder blades, then roll back to sitting.
I couldn't do it. Why, you ask? BECAUSE MY CHEST GOT IN THE WAY. MY CHEST. THE GIRLS. LAVERNE & SHIRLEY. MARY KATE & ASHLEY. MY CANS. THEY WERE TOO BIG.
The capitalization above is brough to you by the letters W, T, and F for WTF?!?!?! I actually had to ask (read: stammer quietly) the instructor for a modification that would allow me to complete the motion. The other women in my class actually LAUGHED OUT LOUD at me. It was mortifying.
I know it's a sign that I've gained weight (everywhere, apparently) when I can't accomplish a basic Pilates roll with my arms and hooters jammed up between my damn knees. Clearly, this is the first time I've EVER had this problem.
Of all the physical exercise goals I've set for myself, being able to comfortably rock back and forth on my ass was never one of them. Pathetic.
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