In Total Denial
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Dear Ass,

Please get in gear. You are larger than you used to be. You and Brain really aren't communicating very well. Can I recommend the services of a third-party mediator, like Metabolism? I heard she can really get things going. Maybe the three of you can work together to get me to the gym tonight.

Concernedly yours,
Jamie

P.S. I heard a rumor that Cellulite is back in town, and he's nobody's friend. Please avoid him.