I've been a bad, bad girl
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Not really, but I wanted to see what kind of traffic I'll get from that title.

This morning, I had a little run-in with the cops. That's right - me and bunch of guys who count "one, two, tree..." I was walking to my car this morning, and to avoid a lot of the freezing cold freezy-freeziness that is the wind, I took a shortcut. That shortcut leads through a bunch of alleys, and directly through a "Police Personnel Only" parking lot for the Police Station at Halsted & Addison.

Some crazy carpooling cops were busy parking a red BMW (ummm...did my taxes pay for that?) when I hit the lot. I had my head down, and just sort of walked through quietly and tried my best not to laugh when he hit his 14th parallel parking adjustment. After I crossed the street, I heard someone say, "Ma'am! Ma'am!" I turned around, and the entire carful of cops were crossing the street and headed my way.

I never thought I would ever write that last sentence. Ever.

They not-so-politely questioned me about whether I had parked in the POLICE PERSONNEL ONLY parking lot and didn't I see the signage informing the general public to STAY THE HELL OUT, CARROT TOP?! When I finally got the chance to speak, I was too stunned to say anything -- mind you, I was still half asleep. My voice cracked, and one of the goons was like, "Okay, you know what? We'll just walk you back to your car so you can move it somewhere else."

And then I let loose, well, that's a relative term because I am a big chickens--t. I informed them that if they'd allowed me a chance to speak without making assumptions, I would have pointed out my car (which was now within sight) and been on my merry way. I also flippantly asked if our little interaction was causing them to miss morning donut time down at the station, and whether or not their attitudes were derived from excess testosterone, or if perhaps they were compensating for being HUNG LIKE MOSQUITOES. Okay, maybe I didn't say that last part, but it certainly crossed my mind.

I then excused myself, and headed for my car. By now, my hair was literally frozen, and all I wanted to do was escape. To my surprise, they watched me walk to my car, open it, get in, and drive away. I wouldn't be surprised if they ran my plates when they got into work. Jerks.