Thursday, February 23, 2006
It all started out innocently enough -- getting into an elevator car that was occupied by a thin man who looked unassuming in his button-down shirt and wingtips. I greeted him, and wondered to myself the reason behind his unusually flush cheeks - ruddy, Scottish complexion perhaps?

Then, I inhaled.

The only thing MORE embarassing than walking into someone else's fart cloud (and having to stay there) is realizing that they are going to get off the elevator before you -- which means that if anyone should get on after that, YOU will be blamed for the PUTRID, DEATHLY, SMELLS-LIKE-ROADKILL STENCH THAT IS HUMAN METHANE EXPULSION.

Suddenly, my cheeks were abnormally flushed - it was like a dutch oven, only strung on high-tension cables. Thankfully, no one else came along for the if only I could get the smell of foreign fart off of me.