Justify My Love
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
I consider myself an expert at justification. I can justify absolutely anything. This means that I make a horrendous shopping partner because I can find a way to rationalize any purchase. People bring me shopping anyways because I will tell you if your butt looks fat in those pants, whether you ask or not. I'm your friend, and I'm doing it for your own good.

That $0.99 bottle of Head & Shoulders at the Walgreens is a trial-sized steal! What's that you say? You don't have dandruff? No problem - that can easily be filed away under your medicine/health budget. Just in case. An ounce of preparation...you never get a second chance to make a first impression...etc. It continues on and on, like a self-hygienic, Faulknerian stream of consciousness.

Living alone only makes it worse. Case in point...

Purchase : Rationalization
Cubs dog leash : Matches the Cubs collar I bought Doc last summer.

Jewel Taco Dip : Has 2+ food groups in it - becomes dinner.

Any item of clothing in black : black is classic, slimming, and matches everything

Overuse of ellipses on blog : it's my damn blog, I can write conversationally if I want to

Yet another plastic bin from Target : Organization now saves time and effort later

It's sick, I know. But it's me...take it or leave it.