Open Letter to Male Commuters
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Dear Sirs,

Let's get down to brass tacks. I have a small bone to pick with you regarding revolving doors. Etiquette books throughout the last century (or since revolving doors were invented) have designated specific revolving door protocol. The more conservative ones even suggest that men should precede women through this type of door, to provide the main pushing effort.

When you're on one side of the door, and I am on the other, I would expect at least an acknowledgment of my own existence. That being said, I'd like to report a flagrant violation of revolving door policy. Exiting the McDonalds this morning, large Diet Coke in hand, I was involved in a standoff upon my exit. A revolving standoff. (cue western tumbleweed warbly music)

We looked at each other, carefully took our places inside the most logical portion of the door, and then HE PROCEEDED TO STAND THERE AND WAIT FOR ME TO PUSH THE DOORS AROUND FOR HIM. Struggling to put forth all of the effort myself, I nearly dropped my enormous Diet Coke all over my white coat, and I think I may have seen a small smirk cross his fat, smug little face.

Next time you hold a policy session on etiquette, please remind all lazy d**kwads that they are advised to use only standard doors. If not for me, for my Diet Coke.

Thank you,