My darling Phil,
I wanted to write you a letter to convey my congratulations to you on your second Masters win. Ever since I first laid eyes on you in the 6th grade, you have been the apple of my PGA eye. You deserve every bit of praise that is currently being lavished upon you.
That being said, I'd like to inquire about your recent hygiene choices -- most notably, your hair. Even Larry Flynt and Jack Nicholson can manage a healthy shampoo every once in awhile, so what's your excuse? And don't try to blame your greasy look on the sweat from your recent 18 rounds - you look like a sleazeball on days when you haven't played. Emulating Jon Lovitz is not a good look on you. If you'd like to reclaim your status as the Golf King of my Heart, please take this constructive criticism to heart. And head.
I'll wait for you forever, Philly.
Love,
Jamie
I wanted to write you a letter to convey my congratulations to you on your second Masters win. Ever since I first laid eyes on you in the 6th grade, you have been the apple of my PGA eye. You deserve every bit of praise that is currently being lavished upon you.
That being said, I'd like to inquire about your recent hygiene choices -- most notably, your hair. Even Larry Flynt and Jack Nicholson can manage a healthy shampoo every once in awhile, so what's your excuse? And don't try to blame your greasy look on the sweat from your recent 18 rounds - you look like a sleazeball on days when you haven't played. Emulating Jon Lovitz is not a good look on you. If you'd like to reclaim your status as the Golf King of my Heart, please take this constructive criticism to heart. And head.
I'll wait for you forever, Philly.
Love,
Jamie
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