One of my favorite blogs is Tall-N-Lucky, which is the online journal of a wonderful woman in Canada. Her son recently celebrated his first birthday (Happy Birthday, Nolan!) and she has expressed concern over getting her partner to share in his portion of the thank you cards for the gifts given to their child.
She concludes this entry with a question on division of labor. I found her comments board particularly interesting. On the subject of thank you notes, specifically, MANY of her readers are suggesting that if a person RECEIVING a gift and the person GIVING the gift are both present for the OPENING of the gift, that no thank you is necessary. Their logic implies that if you can say thank you in person, no further effort is needed. I find this discussion ludicrous.
I openly concede that a lot of etiquette expectations have changed over the last century in wake of our rapidly shifting cultural, societal, and social expectations. However, gratitude is not some Victorian notion that fell by the wayside, a victim of the feminist movement or any other historical event/era. If someone gives you a gift, you thank them in writing. It's just what you do -- no amount of fawning in person replaces the need for a written note. Who are these people who don't send anything out -- particularly the parents?! If one if truly grateful and thankful, wouldn't they want to show their appreciation? I'm sort of angered by the entire debate. Rigid and harsh as it may sound, I have a hard time imagining anyone voluntarily ditch the idea of being polite.
Emily Post is rolling over in her grave as we speak.
She concludes this entry with a question on division of labor. I found her comments board particularly interesting. On the subject of thank you notes, specifically, MANY of her readers are suggesting that if a person RECEIVING a gift and the person GIVING the gift are both present for the OPENING of the gift, that no thank you is necessary. Their logic implies that if you can say thank you in person, no further effort is needed. I find this discussion ludicrous.
I openly concede that a lot of etiquette expectations have changed over the last century in wake of our rapidly shifting cultural, societal, and social expectations. However, gratitude is not some Victorian notion that fell by the wayside, a victim of the feminist movement or any other historical event/era. If someone gives you a gift, you thank them in writing. It's just what you do -- no amount of fawning in person replaces the need for a written note. Who are these people who don't send anything out -- particularly the parents?! If one if truly grateful and thankful, wouldn't they want to show their appreciation? I'm sort of angered by the entire debate. Rigid and harsh as it may sound, I have a hard time imagining anyone voluntarily ditch the idea of being polite.
Emily Post is rolling over in her grave as we speak.
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