Monday, January 22, 2007
From this fantastic book...


1. Invite him to live with you, but only if he stays outside.

2. Tie a rope around his neck so he knows where he belongs.

3. Insist on feeding him, but only the cheapest things available.

4. Make him accompany you on your errands, and while you are shopping, make him wait outside.

5. When you go on vacation for a week, leave a little something extra in his bowl.

6. Tell yourself, they survive on their own in the wild, even though your yard is not the wild, and in the wild they only live a short time.

7. After a few years, consider abandoning him, because it isn't fun anymore and you are bored. Consider the same about your spouse, your friends, and your children, too.

8. You're too busy to train him, but it's his fault if he doesn't know comands.

9. When people ask, explan that leash laws are for the other dogs.

10. Assume, despite all evidence to the contrary, that he'll be fine without you, that someone else will step in to take your place, that after all this time, he won't even know that you are gone.