Time Capsule Tuesday
Monday, July 23, 2007
About a month ago, I took the dog out for one of this thrice-daily walks. The path is moonlit and romantic for sure: down the freight elevator, through the smelly back foyer, and out past the dumpsters into the pitch black alley. It sure doesn't get any better than that, believe you me.

But there was something strange about this evening walk - something odd and unexpected. Outside the back door, on top of our normally smelly and predictable dumpsters, were 5 huge books. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that they were library quality consolidated volumes of the December 1989 Daily Illini Newspaper. Strange, but true. I went to the University of Illinois, so I was intrigued. I immediately grabbed Volume III (the cleanest looking of the bunch) and took it inside - my packrat Great Aunt Lillian would have been so proud.

Inside the volume was a full month of full-size newspapers - bound and ready for inspection. Here is my favorite clip from that volume: what seems like a simple advertisement for roommate placement. (click to enlarge)

Umm, am I the only one who sees this and wants to douse it in pepper spray?! Hello, 911? MY ROOMMATE IS A SERIAL KILLER, PLEASE COME HELP ME MOVE MY MILK CRATES AND HOT PLATE. No offense to the graphic design team of the 1989 Daily Illini, but you have GOT to be kidding me! That is the scariest thing I have ever seen.

Need to be sliced, diced, and put into Jeffery Dahmer's freezer? Maybe you want to wake up in the middle of the night to find your turtlenecked roommate watching you sleep while humming "We've Only Just Begun" by the Carpenters? No problem! Just call the DI Classifieds - 217-333-7777.