A Tail of Murder & Woe
Friday, August 17, 2007
I've always wondered how dog owners can purchase so many toys for their pets - spend all that money, and for what? Then it occurred to me that perhaps other dogs actually PLAY with their toys. My dog just eats them. There is no such thing as a toy basket in our house, because there are only 3 toys in the world that last more than 15 minutes. Those toys are his red kong, the rope toy (actually this is his 6th rope toy - he chews through them eventually), and the teething ring.

I received a tchotchke at work earlier this week, and someone suggested that I take it home for the dog to enjoy. This seemed like an innocent enough idea, because I am certainly NOT the type to have crap lying around my cube - I'm not into corporate clutter - I'd rather have an empty, clean work surface.

So I took the toy home - a stuffed Snoopy doll. Poor thing. Exactly 10 minutes after I gave it to Doc, it appeared that our dear Snoopy had passed on to the next life. Witness the carnage:

Just look at that - entrails everywhere. I caught the dog redhanded, and in the midst of his sordid, cannibalistic deeds. Snoopy was laid to rest that very same night, in a dumpster in the South Loop. In memoriam, please send donations to your local pet rescue organization.

As for Doc, I think we'll stick with plastic for now. For more photos of the murderous chaos, click on my Flickr and find the set entitled "The Death of Snoopy."