Today, it's Christmas gifting help. I pride myself on finding a gift for every person on my list that really is something they will enjoy, cherish, love, and/or wear regularly. I work really hard at finding the right present, and I start early because I'm so finicky.
Of course, that flies right the hell out the proverbial window when it comes to my brother-in-law, A-----. This year, as in many previous years, I am CLUELESS on what to get him. Like many men, he wants for almost nothing and I am really tired of buying him clothing. One holiday about three years ago, I thought I would lose my mind if I saw the poor guy open up YET ANOTHER sweater. I don't think he noticed, because he's all thankful and nice like that, but I caught glances with my mother and I could tell our mutual telepathy would have sounded a lot like this:
Sally Field: "You got A----- clothes?!"
Jamie: "What do you expect? He's difficult to shop for, and I like buying clothes!"
Sally Field: "But I bought him the entire men's business casual rack at Marshall Fields! Why didn't you warn me?"
Jamie: "What kind of question is that?! What else was I supposed to buy him? This is the only suggestion I ever get for him!"
Sally Field: "But look over there - there are at least 9 more shirtboxes for him to open! All he's going to get is clothing!"
Jamie: "Clearly a pre-holiday gifting conference was in order, mother. He'll just have to look good all year this year, until next Christmas when we can even things out with some video games, unnecessary golf paraphenalia, and maybe even some porn."
Sally Field: "Hrmph!" (walks away for another cup of coffee)
Seriously, people. Last year, I bought him a marshmellow air gun. I'm dying for suggestions - what would you buy a teacher in his early thirties, who loves sports (but already has every single piece of crap associated with his favorite team), likes to golf (but already has a thousand accessories he may never use), and has a great sense of humor?
HELP!
Of course, that flies right the hell out the proverbial window when it comes to my brother-in-law, A-----. This year, as in many previous years, I am CLUELESS on what to get him. Like many men, he wants for almost nothing and I am really tired of buying him clothing. One holiday about three years ago, I thought I would lose my mind if I saw the poor guy open up YET ANOTHER sweater. I don't think he noticed, because he's all thankful and nice like that, but I caught glances with my mother and I could tell our mutual telepathy would have sounded a lot like this:
Sally Field: "You got A----- clothes?!"
Jamie: "What do you expect? He's difficult to shop for, and I like buying clothes!"
Sally Field: "But I bought him the entire men's business casual rack at Marshall Fields! Why didn't you warn me?"
Jamie: "What kind of question is that?! What else was I supposed to buy him? This is the only suggestion I ever get for him!"
Sally Field: "But look over there - there are at least 9 more shirtboxes for him to open! All he's going to get is clothing!"
Jamie: "Clearly a pre-holiday gifting conference was in order, mother. He'll just have to look good all year this year, until next Christmas when we can even things out with some video games, unnecessary golf paraphenalia, and maybe even some porn."
Sally Field: "Hrmph!" (walks away for another cup of coffee)
Seriously, people. Last year, I bought him a marshmellow air gun. I'm dying for suggestions - what would you buy a teacher in his early thirties, who loves sports (but already has every single piece of crap associated with his favorite team), likes to golf (but already has a thousand accessories he may never use), and has a great sense of humor?
HELP!
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