Oscar Mania
Monday, February 25, 2008
Last night, I watched the Academy Awards for first time in maybe 3-4 years. Thinking it might be extra dramatic or noteworthy this year, given the writers' strike situation, I tuned in for nearly the entire telecast. Here are my awards for the evening:

Best Extemporaneous Speaking: Jon Stewart
Most Stunning Jewelry: Nicole Kidman (L'Wren Scott)
Best Dress: Helen Mirren (George Chakra)
Second Best Dress: Anne Hathaway (Marchesa)
Most Disappointing Dress: Ellen Page (vintage Scherrer)
Absolutely Ugliest Dress Ever: Sarah Lawson
Most Adorable Acceptance Speech: Marianne Cotillard
Most Irritating Person of the Evening: Ryan Seacrest
Bravest Dress Award: Keri Russell (in a KHAKI Nina Ricci)
Drag Queen Award: Kimora Lee Simmons
Pointless Presenter Award: Miley Cyrus
Hardest Working Woman Award: Amy Adams
Most Hilarious Winner(s) Award: The Coen Brothers
Armpit Vagina Award: tie between Cameron Diaz & Jennifer Garner

Can we please discuss how these horrifyingly skinny actresses STILL couldn't get their underarms into their dresses? Has no one told them that they have armpit vaginas? Both Cameron and Jennifer were BULGING out of the tops of their bodices, and not in an appealing way. And despite rocking a universally unattractive color in a very lovely way, Keri Russell also had some seriously armpit rolls. Yuck.

Your thoughts?