This is What I Get for Trying To Be More Ladylike
Thursday, August 21, 2008
In the past couple years, I've honed a particular ability to burp aloud. Up until about 2005, I really couldn't do it at all - on command, I only managed a soft hissing sound. Very disappointing party trick.

But it would seem that being older has done something funky to my torso - maybe gaining weight expands your gastrointestinal piping? Whatever. The point is that now I can *almost* outburp the men in my life. This fact (and the newfound burping skill itself) HORRIFIES my mother. I think, deep down, some repressed frat-boy part of her finds it hilarious, but mostly I know she detests it.

Apparently burping is unladylike. So sayeth Sally Field.

This is a longwinded way of saying that, in my effort to suppress the rumblings of a post-lunch burp at my desk, I actually ended up half-burping and the pressure was so great that I actually heard my upper spine pop into realignment. No joke.

I am my own chiropractor.