Reading Sunday, September 28, 2008

Because I lack religious belief, I have never considered my accident to be divine retribution for my "immoral" activities. I know exactly why my accident happened. Because I was high, I had a hallucination of arrows coming at me. To avoid the imaginary arrows, I drove my car over the side of a real cliff. the gasoline in my tank only did what gasoline does, which is to ignite when introduced to sparks. When flames engulfed my body, my body started to burn according to the laws of thermodynamics and biology. There is no deeper meaning.

I understand that some people find God after misfortune, although this seems to me even more ridiculous than finding Him in good times. "God smote me. He must love me." It's like not wanting a romantic relationship until a member of the opposite sex punches you in the face. My "miraculous survival" will not change my opinion that Heaven is an idea constructed by man to help him cope with the fact that life on earth is both brutally short and, paradoxically, far too long.