Real - As in, I'm Keeping It...
Sunday, January 04, 2009
The turn of a new year signals many things to many people - time to lose weight, time to make a bunch of goals that may or may not ever be accomplished, time to rearrange furniture, infinitum ad nauseam. For me, the new year brings pressure - in the form of those TOTALLY ANNOYING commercials that start airing at 12:02 am on January 1st...this year, I particularly hate the Walmart commercials intertwining cost savings and a brand spotlight - you know, the ones where some smarmy woman (who is, by the way, already thin enough) informs us all of how she's going to "manage her weight" this year? Yeah, THAT ONE. While we're at it, why don't I just punch myself in the face?

But I digress.

This time of year, I start feeling the pressure of many small things. Putting Christmas gifts away (or working the use of said gifts into a daily routine). Writing thank you notes. Organizing. That last one is especially pressing on me this year, as another round of incredibly generous gift-giving has come and gone and yet I still reside in the same, 830 sq. foot condo. So for 2009, my big battle will be space.

In order to truly respect my space, and the belongings in it, I'm going to take a page from the school of minimalism. Less stuff, more reality. I plan to be aware, more than ever before, of what I'm bringing in to my "world," what I'm consuming, and more importantly, what I possess that I don't use/appreciate/need. All of this starts, of course, with a total closet overhaul. I decided to rid myself of those irritating wire and plastic hangers, and begin using wooden hangers instead. (Santa brought me some for Christmas, upon my request, and I was thrilled to get two boxes. Yet another sign that I am getting old. Moving on.)

Here we have the partially pared-down closet - I need another box of hangers, it would seem:

Along with this closet spiffy-upping, I've decided to keep it real with my clothes. In the past 6-12 months, I've seriously let myself go in the personal presentation department. I'm lucky if I can remember my watch most mornings, let alone put together some combination of adequate work wear. Sometimes I look down at myself in the mornings, sitting innocently in my cube, and wonder what people think of me. Because let's face it - people are critical, and whether I like it or not, my clothes speak volumes about the amount of energy I've been devoting to myself. Which is just about NONE.

In keeping with these renovations, I took everything from my closet that doesn't fit. When I rotated my winter clothes into my closet this past fall, I deliberately added all the clothing that I love - my skinny jeans, and a range of work pants that are one size down. I thought it would motivate me. Since then, I've lost a couple pounds, gained a couple pounds, and all that time felt completely burdened by the clothing. I felt guilty because it didn't fit, and I never wore it - it just hung there, taking up room, mocking me.

Before you go thinking "what a whiny, self-indulgent bitch," take a gander at what I pulled for safekeeping in some other place:

Yeah. That picture doesn't include the 4(!) pairs of jeans that I found five minutes later and added to the cart. It's not rocket science - I'll just keep the clothes in storage, and when I get down a size, I'll proudly unpack that box and put everything on all at once. Just kidding.

But until then, I've give denial the heave-ho and gotten back to's that for reality?