Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I'm working on coming out of a particularly strong phase of anxiety, and for weeks, I have struggled to describe it to my friends (at least the ones who are dumb enough care enough to ask). It's not that I am any busier than any other person, but for whatever mysterious reason, I have been nearly incapable of handling the stress. Things have been crazy in my life and to say that I've been "highstrung" would go down as the biggest understatement of 2009. I've considered medication, people. It's not a good scene.

Then I ate a salad for lunch today, and the universe provided me with the perfect solution. THIS is how only-partially-justifiably anxious I am:

So there I was, doing my lunchtime 'net surfing. When out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a forgotten spinach leaf was slowly unpeeling off of the side of my large, plastic salad bowl. I didn't think much of it and went back to my work. Roughly 30 seconds later, when my mind was completely focused on something else, the bulk of the leaf finally dropped into the bottom of the bowl with a soft plop. So OF COURSE, my first thought was that something had dropped on my desk from the ceiling, or above my cube (note to self: wtf?). Well, not just something OKAY? But rather a mouse, or a huge bug, or something equally nasty and nefarious.

And that's when I let out a blood-curdling scream of surprise/shock. Several of my colleagues rushed over to check on me, only to find me bent over in my chair with my face in my hands - totally unable to explain what had given me such a fright. My heart was in my throat, my hands shaking, my cheeks flushed and body temperature up. Pathetic.

So ends the story of the scariest spinach leaf in the history of the world. Now maybe I can accurately explain my anxiety to someone. Assuming they ask, that is.

YOU-SHOULD-NEEDLEPOINT-THAT-ON-A-PILLOW-NEWS-UPDATE: I was talking to my Dad about the stress thing and what I think might be the root cause(s), and this was his response: "Jamie, as the old chinese philosopher once said, 'Don't f***ing sweat it'"

What a guy. Seriously - what a great bit of advice. Thanks, Dad.