Porcelain Epiphany
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Right about here, I would normally chime in with something banal like "I've been so busy, whoopsie, I have a blog?" and while that is certainly true, it's not terribly interesting. Instead, my mind has wandered the past few days, performing synaptic gymnastics in order to figure out a way to describe the busy-ness of my life at present.

Then it came to me...during a...vulnerable moment.


Well-meaning Friend: "Jamie, I've noticed you haven't been updating your blog recently. Is everything okay?"

Jamie: "Yeah, I've just been busy. Working to adjust to some things. (Thinks to self: how can I best describe it?)"

WMF: "But your only responsibilities are your job, and your dog (and that's not even full-time). Pathetic non-excuse(s)! Explain yourself."

Jamie: (furrowed brow) "You know that feeling of chaos where the only moment of peace you get is the time you have in the bathroom? And then when you're doing your business, you space out thinking about something else entirely, for just long enough to forget what you're doing...and then when you come back to present consciousness, you FREAK OUT because you forgot you were in the bathroom? And then you worry that you're not actually IN the bathroom or ON the toilet, but instead DREAMING of going to the bathroom, or perhaps in your office, passing a gallon of urine into the upholstery of your desk chair? You know that panicky feeling that washes over you while you clap, or pinch your leg, to ensure that you're not actually inadvertantly shitting yourself?"

WMF: "Umm, sure? Yes?"

Jamie: "THAT is how insane my life has been lately. Just one long series of panicked, beshitted moments in which I think I'm somewhere else, but actually just myself, sitting in the bathroom in silence."

WMF: (bambi eyes blinking widely in alarm - says nothing)