Style Saturday
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Welcome to the first edition of STYLE SATURDAY, the newest feature to this blog. I've decided that lifestyle blogs drive me crazy (and yet, I still read them, discuss my hypocrisy amongst yourselves)...I mean, they're sort of out of control. Do any of you actually know someone that is so obsessed with design and decor that they could drive unique, photographed, online content to the tune of 6-10 postings a week? Do you?! I don't, due directly to the fact that the people in my life have JOBS and FAMILIES and don't have TIME to post about how they trimmed out that Edsel bumper they found last weekend in a junkyard into a wall mantel that is now trimmed with organic gourds and raffia in autumnal shades.

I mean, really. REALLY?

So here it is: the inaugural installment of my own lifestyle section, Style Saturday. This week, we're going medieval on you.

Medieval Times, that is.

A month or so ago, my parents (who while not exactly wacky or spontaneous are rather fun-loving) decided that they would make good on a promise to my niece and nephew to attend a show at Medieval Times. And so ensued our evening experience with what I consider to be the weirdest dinner theatre in the entire world, replete with the smell of horse poop and *just enough* theatrical lighting to frighten children under the age of 8.

The economy is alive and well...inside the great hall of your local Medieval Times, that is.

Thing the first: Medieval Times is interactive. It's so sensory that I almost wonder if it's a bad place for epileptics and people on the autistic spectrum to hang out. (No judgment, just a thought) They give you crowns and streamers to use in cheering on your knight in battle, and there is no silverware and you are forced to eat with your hands. To wit: my entree -

Apparently there were no medieval vegetarians?

Thing the Second: the seating assignment is random - where you're seated determines your loyalty to a certain knight-slash-wannabe-actor-with-gross-long-hair. We cheered on the red/gold knight, who looked suspiciously feminine. (As it turns out, he's a HE - I checked after the show at the autograph signing table (by LOOKING AT HIM, not whatever you gutterbrains were just thinking, oh HEY HI MOM - the fey appearance comes from his extreme youth. I would be surprised if he was legal to drink) He lost in the second battle, but not after using all the tools in his disposal, which included a giant spear, something metal and spiky on a chain, and this other thing that I'm still having nightmares about.

Speaking of booze, they have it there. THANK GOD. You can get your medieval margarita in a pimped out glass, if you want:

Not surprisingly, I opted for the hologram cup 'o Bud Light. What can I say? I'm a renaissance woman.

Nothing is more chic than getting dressed in whatever was clean that morning, and donning a flimsy, hair-flattening paper crown.

What's most stylish of all, really, is quality time spent with my family - medieval in nature, or not. Spend some time styling it up with YOUR family this week, and enjoy. (with or without ye olde Heineken)