Protein Shake (Up)
Thursday, July 08, 2010
After two months of incredibly frustrating hair days - most of which saw 3 o'clock pm come and go with me in a spectacularly unflattering ballerina bun - I had to bring in the big guns. And no, I am not referring to chopping my hair off again. (Not that I wasn't tempted...) I booked an appointment with my stylist to undergo the Keratin Hair Therapy Treatment by Coppola.

Here's a recent shot of my "before" hair - aka my natural hair - natural color, natural curl, natural predisposition to frizz:

And here is the "only a few hours later" after shot - proof that this treatment works, and it works VERY WELL:

YES. REALLY. Here's how it all went down, in 20 easy steps.

1. Show up at salon w/book, b/c this is going to take awhile.
2. Get shampooed three times with clarifying shampoo - YOUCH.
3. Get combed. DOUBLE OUCH.
4. Get blown out w/no product in hair - welcome to Fro-Ville, population: 1.
5. Keratin protein complex applied painstakingly to small pieces of hair until (a) your entire head is covered, (b) you may have fallen asleep in the chair, and/or (c) you are grateful you didn't wear any makeup that day b/c DAMN THOSE FUMES! It is suddenly as if someone has put raw onion rings on your undereye circles. Yowza.
6. Make lame joke about crying from happiness that you'll have no frizz for the next 3 months.
7. *crickets*
8. Sit for half hour, reading really horrible Candace Bushnell book.
9. Get blown out - no rinse.
10. Get flat ironed in sections so small you almost feel bad for the stylist, with an iron that has a 450-degree capacity.
11. Wonder if that burny smell is going to linger on your hair.
12. Receive your instructions not to wash your hair for 72 hours - no excuses.
13. Ponder if perhaps this is the first time you've ever seen your hair this close to your head. Like...ever.
14. Realize the burny smell IS going to stay. At least for the next 72 hours.
15. Check out with new, keratin-friendly hair products and a vague sense of dread about how absolutely disgusting your hair is going to look and be in 24 hours, never mind 72.
16. Think further on how, over the Fourth of July weekend, you will be able to (as directed by your stylist) avoid: sweating, getting your hair wet, using any kind of hair implement, putting sunglasses on your head, sweating, tucking your hair behind your ears, sweating...SCHEDULING FAIL.
17. Carefully tuck your hair underneath your seemingly enormous skull, and fall asleep hoping you won't wake up with kinky hair that needs to be burny'ed all over again.
18. Lament at the amount of product and grease that accumulates in your hair.
19. Cry one single, fat tear upon leaving the house to go to work with burny, 65-hour, homeless lady hair.
20. Sit on the train home, somewhere around 75 hours, like a child waiting for Christmas - finally reach home and take the most wonderful shower you've possibly EVER taken.

et Voila! Suddenly you've got movie star, frizz-free, fabulous (albeit significantly less curly) hair for the next 3-5 months.



Seriously, since I washed the death goo out of my hair on Tuesday night, my hair has been an absolute dream. In the photo immediately above, I will gladly boast to you that there is zero styling product in my hair. NOTHING. That's pretty monumental for a girl who has been beating her hair into a styled submission since oh, about the fourth grade.

This is awesome, people. I recommend it. I adore it. It's just in time for summer, and it is worth every penny.