Movie Review/Bad Poetry: Disney's "A Christmas Carol" Sunday, November 29, 2009

Went with my boyfriend to ol' Navy Pier
We visit the IMAX roughly 2 times a year.
It's the holidays now,
and to celebrate - how?
Retelling of a story that (to me) is so dear.

A cautionary tale of sorts -
A miserly accountant and his direct report
The 3-D was stunning
The plotline was cunning
But so downright frightening that I nearly pooped my shorts.

Ogres, and spirits, and spooks - oh my!
We won't talk about how I covered my eyes.
Don't take the kids who
Might also get scared, too.
At least the surround sound covered my outcries.

I may be a woman of nearly one and thirty
Please allow me to be a bit wordy
The movie was so graphic
It ran over my heart like heavy traffic
After it was done, my brain was a little...hurty.

I get the parable, I "get" the pace
But the shock and sadness ran amuck in the place
Zemeckis was clearly on drugs
This film is a bite, not a hug
You know what I hope never to see again? THIS FACE:

Excellent! Party on, Wayne! Thursday, November 19, 2009

In the spirit of 1000 Awesome Things:

AWESOME: This afternoon, I hastily split open a bag of Skittles only to find that the entire bag was grape and lemon - my two favorite flavors! Massive Q/A issue for the maker, but WIN WIN for Jamie. Yay!

Porcelain Epiphany Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Right about here, I would normally chime in with something banal like "I've been so busy, whoopsie, I have a blog?" and while that is certainly true, it's not terribly interesting. Instead, my mind has wandered the past few days, performing synaptic gymnastics in order to figure out a way to describe the busy-ness of my life at present.

Then it came to me...during a...vulnerable moment.

-------

Well-meaning Friend: "Jamie, I've noticed you haven't been updating your blog recently. Is everything okay?"

Jamie: "Yeah, I've just been busy. Working to adjust to some things. (Thinks to self: how can I best describe it?)"

WMF: "But your only responsibilities are your job, and your dog (and that's not even full-time). Pathetic non-excuse(s)! Explain yourself."

Jamie: (furrowed brow) "You know that feeling of chaos where the only moment of peace you get is the time you have in the bathroom? And then when you're doing your business, you space out thinking about something else entirely, for just long enough to forget what you're doing...and then when you come back to present consciousness, you FREAK OUT because you forgot you were in the bathroom? And then you worry that you're not actually IN the bathroom or ON the toilet, but instead DREAMING of going to the bathroom, or perhaps in your office, passing a gallon of urine into the upholstery of your desk chair? You know that panicky feeling that washes over you while you clap, or pinch your leg, to ensure that you're not actually inadvertantly shitting yourself?"

WMF: "Umm, sure? Yes?"

Jamie: "THAT is how insane my life has been lately. Just one long series of panicked, beshitted moments in which I think I'm somewhere else, but actually just myself, sitting in the bathroom in silence."

WMF: (bambi eyes blinking widely in alarm - says nothing)



*fin*
----------

Reading: The Weekend Edition Friday, November 06, 2009

Yes, seeing as I haven't worked on a rap since Duck This Shot: The iPhone Rap, I figured it was time to give it another go, and attempt to enliven the generally staid world of heating systems. And so I set about working on my rap...

...which was interrupted by the arrival of the Penis Snuggie.

That right there? THAT is why I love blogging. The end.

Miscellanea: These Should Be Their Own Posts, but I'm Too Busy Wednesday, November 04, 2009

********

I came to a somewhat depressing realization the other day. There are just some days where the only bright spot is something pathetic or incredibly minor. Like Friday of last week, during which the only thing that went right was finding some high-scoring words while playing Bookworm on my iPod. Simper. Excoriate. Conceive. Galaxy. Cancerous.

********

Laundry makes me happy in ways I could never previously imagined. It makes me feel like I've done something in this world. Sad, but true.

********

My mom had knee surgery yesterday morning, and while he typically makes a pretty good nursemaid, my dad has not been feeling well either. I can put the worry aside just enough to realize how fortunate I am to be under the same roof (if only for 4-5 hours a day) just in case something happens. I feel good about that, even if my only contribution is to load and run the dishwasher. (Anybody have any recipe suggestions for things I can make the night before? I'm making a grocery run tonight.)

********

I am in love with the Avett Brothers new album.

********

Coffeemate Peppermint Mocha Creamer is officially IN STOCK. My happiness meter just went way, WAY up. Also? It lasts forever! I don't care if it's made entirely of preservatives - as long as it takes me through the holiday season. I need to be able to drink something sweet in order to bypass hoovering down a million and one Christmas cookies.

********

Ladies, I need Christmas gift ideas for the man. Suggestions welcome, because I'm pretty sure he's just going to tell me he "doesn't need anything." (Am I right, Sean? I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS.)

********

Chicago-area folks - does anyone want to volunteer or work a philanthropy with me this holiday season? I was thinking maybe work a day at a food pantry, or pooling together to buy holiday gifts for a family in need. Let me know.

Glass Half Full, I Guess Sunday, November 01, 2009

A lot of people have been asking me lately how I'm doing with the whole "living with my parents" thing. It's a valid question because, well...do YOU know anyone who voluntarily moves in with their parents at the age of 30? That's what I thought.

The truth is, it's going well! I don't know if it's a product of my age, and why that might endear my parents to me more than it would have at say, 22, but things are smooth. They respect my schedule, my space, and they love my dog to bits (not to mention they make taking care of him easier for me). There are lots of things to like about living here, such as:

Loads of natural light...something I didn't have in the condo.


And let's not forget the screened porch, which makes the dog very VERY happy.


I don't want to live here forever, obviously, but I know that I'm lucky to be here.