Everything Old is New Again
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
I did a horrible jazz routine, once, to that song. I thought I was so cool, having it completely memorized by the time routine evaluations came around. Too bad I didn't know it was a level 2 (out of 4) until the instant I hit the floor, and the group was announced. Damn you NHS dance team captains, and damn you NCA/NDA.

Despite that tiny, fleeting, and somewhat bitter memory...I was right about lunch. I'm in a much better place than I was two hours ago. Hooray for a bacon burger (no bread), a salad, and Sugar-Free black cherry jell-o. LOVE IT.

I also decided, while I was stuffing my face, that any job is fantastic when you can wear your sweats and flip-flops to work. So what if my job consists of placating screaming clients with white lies?! At least I'm comfortable.

What do we think about Christian Bale as the next Batman? I used to think he was SOOO hot, until the movie "American Psycho" came out. Now, everytime I see him, I feel the need to lock all my doors and call my family to tell them that I love them, just in case I get murdered in the night.

Is anyone else having the random day I am having? I can't stay focused.

Rolling along, singin' a song
Well it's that day - the day after a long holiday weekend. Painful? Check. Tiring? Check. Irritating and somehow mysteriously overwhelming? Check.

I had a great weekend, full of family, movies, good food (I'm still panting over SMD's accidental eggplant), and lots of laundry. Took the dog to the doggy park, where he cowered between my (or SMD's) legs, and only ventured out of his comfort zone to poop. Guess he's not the social butterfly I initially thought he was. He also [almost] got doggy-raped by an albino bulldog named BamBam.

Now I'm back at work, coming down a mysterious bug of some sort, and ready to throw in the towel. Literally.

I'm sure all will be well again after I eat lunch. Jamie + low blood sugar = extreme cranky-pants.

Birth of a new Blogger
Friday, May 27, 2005
Congratulations to Jen, who started her own blog today.

Who is Jen, you may ask? Oh the answers I could give you on that one...she is:
1- a very good friend of mine from high school
2- uproariously funny
3- a writer
4- all things equine (except for actually being the horse, thank God for that)
5- a dog person
6- v. sarcastic

And she can be google'd, people. GOOGLE'D. I went into the Images section, put in her name, and BAM! There she was on the second page of results, bless her Bridle-and-Bit heart. So of course I had to crop the stranger out of the photo and put it on my blog along with this post...and also because I don't have digital versions of any embarassing photos of her from high school. Like the ones we took that night on my mom's ugly pink couches during the Monday night movie.

That would have been classic.

So I am doing something very cool with some other bloggers, and by "cool," I mean "it involves me getting fun gifts in the mail." Which is JUST FINE by me.

May the Great Blog Exchange 2 commence!

Genesis of a craving
While I am still majorly jones-ing for some Mexican food, I think I may have figured out where the craving began. In true Jamie style, please enjoy the short story made long, that you see below.

My parents (known to my good friends as PBomb and JDawg) recently moved into a new condo downtown. They came up to the north side to loan me a car (while mine was in the shop) and drop off some boxes for me to use in my upcoming move. As all great parents do, they then took me out to dinner. It's an excellent arrangment - I get a free meal, and they get to see me. Which all parents claim they don't get enough of. Either way, it's kind of nice that they live close, because when all is said and done, I like them - they're my friends, not just my parents.

Anyhoo...I had fish tacos (for the very first time ever) at dinner. They were very good, and I think the teeny-tiny cup of refried beans set me up for imminent weeklong cravings. Oh the horror! Now all I can think about is mexican food and margaritas. SMD even went online to find lo-carb, sugar free margarita mix (because we all know the most important part is OBVIOUSLY the tequila). Isn't he sweet?

Yes, he is.

Last night, he courteously distracted me from swinging through Taco Bell for the largest order of Pintos-n-Cheese that has ever been ordered in the greater Chicagoland area...instead we hopped over to the grocery and had some late-night Butterscotch Pudding and Lo-Carb Merlot.

Not good the second day, that wine/pudding combo.

Aaack. And I'm still craving Mexican food. I may have to break down and have some tonight.

Arriba, Andele, Ay Carumba!
Thursday, May 26, 2005
I have no idea if that title is spelled correctly. So sue me.

I just got the most powerful kind of food craving on earth - for Mexican food. Oh, man...this craving is going to be the end of me. I can literally taste the margarita in my mouth. It's almost enough to make me get up from my treehouse, er...I mean desk, and go here to wildly binge and completely ignore my diet.

Must. Have. It. Uuuuuuhhhhhhhh...

So the office that I work in is situated amongst the old offices of a toy factory - Fisher-Price, to be exact. Our offices used to be storage rooms, our storage cubbies were once their cubes, and we've basically rearranged everything that used to be normal. One effect of this re-partitioning...all of the A/C that formerly was distributed throughout the open storage room now dumps into my office. More specifically, it blows directly onto my desk.

Imagine yourself at work...now imagine sitting, working at your desk, with a window A/C unit blowing frigid air into your face. My hair is being blown back, that's how much force this damn A/C vent is creating.

There has to be a solution to this, other than the very heavy sweater I'm wearing. I'm getting a little weary of stopping work to go run into the kitchen, and put my hands under hot water. Brrrrrrrrr!

UPDATE (cue breaking story music...)
Through the creative use of cardboard and plywood, there is a now a rickety air re-routing device in place, to send the arctic over to another space. It also looks like someone built a treehouse just above my desk. Very Swiss Family Robinson. But at least now I'm not in need of a space heater under my desk. Bonus.

Bad Day
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
I think this picture pretty much describes how my day is going - gloomy, sad, and frustrating. Imagine me, giving the whole world the stinkeye.

Bah, humbug.

Week 2 South Beach Update
Well, I guess it's still working. The other day, I put on a pair of swanky jeans that are typically WAAAAYYYYY too tight, and you know what? They closed without putting up a fight! No pinched lower belly fat, no grande plie trying to get them to stretch out in the thighs, they just slid on.

I love this diet. And just think - in a week, I'll be able to have carbs again! Weee!

2 week progress
Hips...lost 1" (total loss to date 3")
Upper Arm...no change (t.l.t.d. 5/8")
Bust...gained 1" (the girls are putting up a good fight - t.l.t.d. 0")
Thigh...no change (tl.t.d. 1")
Waist...lost 3/4" (t.l.t.d. 2")
Possibly down 1 pants size, not sure yet
Full body down 2.2 lbs (t.l.t.d. 7.1 lbs)

Tuesday, May 24, 2005
I stayed up late last night to watch Tom Cruise on the 11pm re-run of yesterday's Oprah. He is a complete freak over Katie Holmes. If I weren't 100% sure that he was gayer than the male contingent of the Professional Ballroom Dancers Assoc. of America, I would actually believe that he loves her. But he's just too damn obnoxious about it. It didn't help that the audience was crazier than a ghetto family reunion.

Here's me, post Oprah overload, looking nauseous.

I was also flipping back and forth between Lifetime and VH1, and what did my wandering eyes stop on? The new Rob Thomas video "Lonely no More." Holy cow, is he a Hottie McHotterson in that video. The video, as a separate entity is very unique, and completely entertaining -- but I couldn't take my eyes off his adorable little hip swagger and booty shake. Mmmm!

Underwire Support
As you may or may not know, I have been involved for the past year (or so) with the Avon Foundation's Walk For Breast Cancer. At first, my involvement was nothing more than a simple desire to continue my philanthropic activities after college. Then it became something more - something intrinsic and personally significant. I have never had anyone in my family suffer at the hands of breast cancer -- other cancers, yes. Anyone who knows ANYTHING about this disease should be aware that it is claiming lives everyday, everywhere.

This year is my second year as a crew team leader for the Chicago Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. Please considering donating to assist in the prevention, education, research, and treatment of this frightening disease. 96% of your donation goes directly to hospitals, patients, doctors, and labs. If not for me, or for yourself, donate for a sister, mother, grandmother, or friend. Did you know that breast cancer also affects men?

Statistics say that 1 in every 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime. Who will it be in MY immediate group of friends, I wonder, or yours? Please help me fight for patients everywhere by donating to this cause. (That link will take you directly to my fundraising site)

Thank you so much.

Monday, May 23, 2005
This weekend was one of life extremes - a birthday/graduation party, a sad death and resulting wake, quiet moments, and fun at a barbecue. Much like my good friend Meg, I struggle with the development of my life in relation to the lives of those in my immediate circle of friends and family. There have been several times, in the past 3 days, where I have been startled and stopped to think, "Wow, I'm really an adult," "Holy cow, she's really an adult," or "Wow, when did we all start genuinely discussing the weather? We must be growing up."

I am learning to deal with the constant motion of change, and trying my best to embrace it -- but for someone who is incredibly routinized, a change of pace can often become a setback. This is something that I work on daily - trying to be spontaneous (a relative term, for those who know me well), and trying to live my life instead of just going through the motions. After having dealt with a particularly significant shift in one arena of my life, I recently took stock of what I leave each troubling/trying situation with...and the only thing I could think of was the experience.

At the wake, I looked at a photo collage of one amazing woman's life, family, and friends, and the same sentiment resonated like a bell ringing clear in my ears. The family will miss this great lady every day of every year, but they also get to take her legacy and lessons with them wherever they go, forever. My condolences to HW and her family on the event of an irreplaceable loss.

Funerals being an obvious exception, this is all about looking back and finding a way to say, "God, that was a tough one, but I'm so much stronger because of it. Look at everything I've attained by keeping my head up," INSTEAD of complaining, and holding a grudge, or regretting. My friends and family are growing up, becoming parents, empty nesting, learning to share, partnering, moving on, coupling off, and planning for the future. If I cannot support them in their endeavors, I am remiss in my duties as sister, friend, and daughter.

Congratulations to NS on her graduation and birthday. We're proud of you!

Hooray for Jo on the news of her second pregnancy, a healthy first trimester, and for giving me yet another reason to shop for tiny, overpriced shoes and clothing.

Kudos to EW who, to this day, remains the most positive person I have ever met.

Hats off to JH who is kicking ass, and generally making her will known, in a man's world.

Good luck to MA who is about to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Thumbs up to KT for taking a chance, again, and for being brave.

Operation Dog Beach: Captain Sandy Snout
Friday, May 20, 2005
There are a lot of dog people in Chicago, so the city is pretty good to us. At Belmont Harbor, on the near north side, there is a little beach dedicated to dogs - a place where they can swim, fetch toys from the water, etc. SMD and I decided it was "Sink or Swim" time for Doc. My chief concern was that he may not be an able swimmer (unlikely given his mix of breeds, but still) and I wanted to ensure that if he someday fell into a pool, he wouldn't....you know, drown.

So we rolled up our pants, waded out in the ICY water, and gave it our best. I stood in the shallow, while SMD took Doc out about 4 feet and placed him in the water to swim back to me. Several minutes and a couple frozen toes later, Doc was tired of swimming and decided to smell his way around the beach. Which meant that I was brushing sand off of him the entire rest of the weekend, but I digress.

Had the water been warmer, I feel he would have taken to it much more readily. Instead, he avoided it and would only walk in if baited with treats. Which meant that I spent the entire time with treats in my pocket, surrounded by huge, wet, super-olfactory-powered beasts. Creatures that could have knocked me over with one jump, hairy mongrels that, when standing, were taller than I am. There was a point where multiple dogs were aware that I had the t-r-e-a-t-s and I couldn't even bend down to the ground to reward my own little pooch for his brave swimming efforts.

Turns out he can swim quite well! But he doesn't exactly like it.

Random Photos for Thursday
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Over Mother's Day weekend, we made a short journey to Cheeseland to visit the matriarch and sole living grandparent in our family - Grandma J (known to B as GG for great-grandmother). At 92, this feisty young lady is full of spirit, still takes walks to the library and post office, and has more of her "wits" about her than I do.

She is also 1 of the 2 possible genetic sources of my hair color, which increases her cool factor exponentially. My niece B loves GG's house, mostly because she has her own doll there, which she tries to swaddle and carry. Sooo cute.

Grandma was a mere 90 when B was born

If you're happy and you know it, imitate Gene Simmons...

(This photo is real and untouched - that tongue is all hers, no photoshopping to be had here)

Thank God one of us knows where we're going

Fuzzy, yes, but I still love this shot.

Using My Powers for Good
May the force be wi...oh, shit, who really cares? I have to admit right here and now that I sort of watched the original 3 Star Wars movies when I was little (we still have them taped off of television, on VHS) but the whole thing just doesn't interest me. It also may have something to do with a light-sabre (sp?) being part of my very first kiss (don't ask, just don't ask). Outside of a family friend being very closely involved in the Phantom Menace project, I couldn't care less about Star Wars.

I did, however, find this stupid little quizzy-thing on the internet. I love stupid little quizzy-things. Especially ones that say nice things about me. (wink)

Star Wars Horoscope for Leo

You add a whole new meaning to self-assurance.
You are a nurturing person with great physical strength.
Like many Leos, you will see that your mission for good is completed.
You are very optimistic about the future.

Star wars character you are most like: Princess Leia

I majorly dig her fountain-style ponytail and hot hot hot neckwear.

Happiness Is...
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
a sugar-free Fudgesicle.

Downward Spiral: Diet Update
So things are moving slow but steady in my quest to lose the 25 lbs that I put on after leaving Professional Cheerleading Team X. My tactic? Lots of Caffeine Free Diet Coke and the South Beach Diet. My progress? See below for vital statistics.

1 week progress
Hips...lost 2"
Upper Arm...lost 5/8"
Bust...lost 1" (sob)
Thigh...lost 1"
Waist...lost 1-1/8"
No visible change in dress or pants size yet
Total lbs...down 4.9 (mostly water weight)

So things are progressing nicely, if not in actual weight, but in tone. The best thing so far is that I'm never extremely hungry. The worst thing so far...

Foods I Miss
Glazed Doughnuts
Cinnamon-Raisin Toast

Random Tuesday, Random Photos
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
I am completely distracted today because tonight my family and I are going out to dinner, then to see Wicked. I am so excited, especially to see it after having read the book. It may not be actual Broadway, but it's damn close.

Here are some random photos that reflect my very random mood today.

Deck chair

Replacement sneakers
(These are the sneakers that I purchased to make myself feel better about the death of my previously favorite pair)

Doc likes to guard our apartment, like the loyal dog that he is. And by "guard," I mean "sit in the front window like the old biddy from the show 227."

Favorite Toy
Monday, May 16, 2005
I'm posting this for no reason other than it's very cute. Witness the joy of the dog in his tilted head and focused chewing effort. He loves this toy. He even taught himself how to tip over the toy bin, so that he could help himself to this particular delight.

I hope this toy lives forever. Thank you, Hartz.

I've been thinking about courage lately, and how it means such different things to different people. So many people in my life are what I would describe as courageous -- but are we really? What about the people in the 1840's, who faced their wagons away from the sun and just started walking? Is that real courage? Is it a relative term, that we've softened through the years and start applying liberally to sooth people's 21-st century-frazzled nerves? Is it really as courageous as I thought it was, to enter the puppy store, hold a puppy, and actually leave without buying it? (This takes serious courage from me, people. You don't say no to the most adorable miniature schnauzer in the whole wide world. I had already named him, for God's sake)

What is courage? Is it my longtime friend J's acceptance of her young sister's unexpected pregnancy? Is it my commitment to my diet? Is it young men and women going off to fight a war that so few of us actually believe in? Is it N's decision to swear off alcohol until after she takes the bar exam? Or is it my uncle, perhaps, deciding to retire from a life he's loved and known for so long?

I think it's all of that, and more. Thoughts?

Uh Oh...
Friday, May 13, 2005
Are you kidding me?

Inadvertant Blog Vacation
THANK YOU to Blogger staff, wherever you are, for fixing my precious, insignificant blog. THANK YOU to the people who emailed me and were all, "WUH?!" when they realized it was nothing but a blank, white screen. Today, I have a list for you. Perhaps Fridays will become List Days...

Things that happened since Tuesday that I've wanted to blog about, but couldn't:

- My 2 a.m. showdown with a millipede in the bathroom. The only thing i'll say is that it involved a bottle of Windex. I now shake my slippers before putting them on the morning.

- Doc and his recent problem with butt nuggets, strung together. He's left little poop necklaces all over the backyard. Commence visual image...

- I am still (miraculously) on the SBDiet. No massive weight loss yet, but I am tiring quickly of cheese as a snack. Good thing Phase 1 only lasts 2-3 weeks.

- My recent intake of water is DRASTICALLY higher than normal. 2L/day, people. DO YOU KNOW ME? I HATE WATER! This is a major, major step for me.

Other than that, the minutiae of my everyday life is as usual. Back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Chien dans l'air
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Some doggies hump, my doggie jumps. At everything. Witness the chaos below, in this interpretive series of photos. His vertical is currently 48 inches, approximately. No wonder his butt is so big -- it is overly muscular! I wish that was the reason MY butt was too big. Hmmm.




Wastin' away again in Meat-n-Cheesy-ville
I started the South Beach Diet today. I have been on Atkins (successfully) in the past, but I'm not satisfied with its lack of long-term potential. I started a food diary, measured myself (aaack!), and am on my way. You can expect an update, whether you like it or not, every Wednesday. Tuesdays are weigh & measure days.

Countdown to family reunion/vacation that warrants donning a bikini: 75 days.

Other than the shame of writing down everything I put in my mouth, and the thought of exposing my cellulite to my cousins who have millions of kids and find a way to stay STICK SKINNY PEOPLE, I can't find an appropriate motivator to lose weight.

For those of you out there, chime in-- what's your motivator?

Oh the barnyard is busy, in a regular tizzy...
Monday, May 09, 2005
And the obvious reason is because of the season,
Ma Nature's lyrical with her yearly miracle
spring, spring, SPRING!

Special props to any other musical theater nerds out there that can name the film those lyrics are from...paging Howard Keel, line 1, Howard Keel...

Anyways, I'm just popping online to mention that it's BEAUTIFUL outside today. And by "beautiful," I mean "not 50 degrees and windy." Woohoo! I was going to head downtown after work to take pictures of Michigan Ave. before all the tulips die, but this clever minx beat me to it.

There is something intangible about spring that makes me think that I could get into wearing shorts. Then, I look at my legs, and realize the contrary will always be true. I'm a realist, what can I say?

Have a great week, all!

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

My Ears are Bleeding
At this time of year, I often reflect back on one of my favorite jobs in the entire universe-- being a dance instructor for....well...in the interest of anonymity we'll call it "Incredibly Successful Spirit Support Company X" (ISSSCX). When the weather starts to get warmer, I often find myself paying more attention to Top 40 Pop & Hip Hop radio...in the past, the most popular songs in the nation often became the inadvertant anthems of summer to me -- like it or not. For instance, songs like "Welcome to Miami" by Will Smith, "Flyaway" by Lenny Kravitz, "Brown Sugar" by the Rolling Stones, and "Bling Bling" by Jermaine Dupri all invoke clear and vivid memories of days gone by.

Now that I have left ISSSCX, I wonder whether all the songs I find completely annoying will also be grating and irritating for my friends and former co-workers. Songs like "Hollaback Girl," "Switch," and "LaLa"...just thinking about it gives me the shivers.

Sympathetically, I find myself hating these songs as well, and will probably continue to do so all summer long! I may miss my old job dearly, but I don't miss the summer invasion of heinous hip-pop earworms.

On that note, I think I'll go listen to some Frou Frou and calm the hell down.

Friday, May 06, 2005
I used to love that show "Moonlighting" with Bruce Willis and Cybil Shepard...Bruce Willis was SO HOT back then. Mmm.

Shake that thing

So I got my hair lowlighted last night by my very funny, very gay stylist at my favorite salon. We went in with a dark, coppery red color by Aveda, which will eventually fade out into my natural color. It's very subtle and I LOVE IT. I don't think I could have rocked the full-on darkness.

I might take a picture later and post it. I haven't decided yet.

Don't be a wiener...
Thursday, May 05, 2005
...celebrate Cinco de Mayo!


Ladies Night
Last saturday, I partied with my Sister and my gorgeous niece, B. We got super hooched out (jeans and tees) and hit the (juice) bar. See photographic evidence below for the details of our scandalous night out.

In this shot, we see B surreptitiously pointing out a guy "over there" that she thinks is fine...NO, DON'T LOOK! Apparently the hottie offered her a drink from his sippy cup. Aaaah, young love.

Like all drunken night outs, B is way too close to the camera. Close enough, in fact, that we can see a boogie making its descent from nostril to face. The excitement builds...

Apparently the sippy cup hottie can't dance, but tried to do "the lean" on B. Here we see her imitating his form.

Okay, so maybe we weren't out drinking (milk) but it was still a fun day.

* Note-the purplish bruise/goose egg you see on B's face comes to you courtesy of a rude daycare bully who pushed her down last Friday. Little bastard.

Weird Wednesday
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
For some reason, I am really missing Tennessee today. Hell, I only lived there for a year and change...I have no idea what's come over me. Sometimes I think that I just wasn't brave enough to follow through on the opportunities that I was given during that time in my life. I hate, hate, hate looking back with regret on how certain decisions were made, and how I handled certain parts of my professional life. I spent so much of my time there thinking about how much I missed Illinois and completely overlooked all the amazing things I could have done in Tennessee. It's a shame.

The real shame is that I want so badly to go back and do it over. Even though I'm VERY happy with my life right here, right now. Regret isn't something that sits well with me, especially since it stems from my own lack of mental clarity and confidence. I remember sitting on my little lawn chair, on the little patio in the back of my little house, feeling PARALYZED. Simultaneously frightened that I was all alone, and exhilarated at the thought that I was doing something different. Something no one I knew had done - gone off by myself to another state, another culture, and pursued a job that I knew I would love and excel at. Sadly, all I could focus on was the isolation. Why is that?

Maybe I just miss that time in my life, when I truly thought that anything was possible. I suppose it still is.

Happiness Is...
Eating a Potbelly's dream bar for breakfast.

Things I Do that Girls Don't Do
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Copying from Megan, who was copying from Smitten, I must include my own list. She has already stolen picnic food, Illini Pride, burping, and classic rock from me, so I fear this list will be mighty short. (pause...deep breath...) Here goes.

1. I am not afraid to go days without showering. My hair looks best on the second day, and I can mask smelliness like nobody's business.

2. On rare occasion (usually when I'm ill), I blow my nose in the shower.

3. I am a champion scab-picker. Ask dancer worth their salt HAS to be.

4. When truly, mortifyingly, profoundly upset or angry, I will retreat within and speak to no one. The rare moments when I am silent are usually the times when I am plotting out the perfect way to communicate my unhappiness, or perhaps exact my revenge.

5. I will play Devil's Advocate in a debate just to prove a point (or simply to piss the other person off).

6. I hold the people around me up to an annoyingly high standard of presentation and performance. Caveat: I always make sure I'm within my own standards -- I may be highstrung, but I'm no hypocrite.

7. I intensely dislike bad drivers, and am therefore do not hesitate to honk like a maniac, or flip somebody the bird. I also intensely dislike female drivers.

8. I dress for me, not the people around me.

9. I read Maxim and, on occasion, Playboy. Seriously - I like the articles. I find them amusing and refreshingly free of conversations about lip gloss, body fat, and finding the perfect pair of shoes.

10. I don't believe in the "perfect man." I believe in finding someone who is perfect for me...flaws, warts, and all. Seriously - perfection is such a boring expectation/criteria. Suppose you get it - then what?! A lifetime of boredom? No thanks.

Does anyone remember that educational magazine for children called Highlights? I just had the most random flashback to reading them -- but mostly only in doctor's offices and in the school library and nurses office. Hmmm.

So I'm thinking about getting low lights done after I get my hair cut on Thursday. I love changing up my hair, but don't want to get too far away from my natural color. Last time I went nutty with highlights, I got so blonde I couldn't remember what my natural shade of red was -- case in point, my drivers license photo. Scary.

Of course, it was also scary because it was taken the morning after my 21st birthday. But I digress.

Has anyone out there had success with low lighting? I am somewhat fearless when it comes to cutting my hair, but not coloring. Suggestions? Advice?

A Look inside the Glamorous Life of Jamie, Customer Service Extraordinaire
Monday, May 02, 2005
I have received HUNDREDS of emails, with requests for photos of where I write my brilliant, pulitzer-prize winning blog entries. (okay, or maybe...none) As you, my loyal readers, are aware - I do not disappoint.

85% of my blog entries are written from work (gasp!) in spare free time that I get - when I'm on hold with someone, over my lunch break, before I mentally "clock in" in the morning, whenever. So here are a few snapshots of my office, (spartan as it may appear) where my enchanting, provocative prose begins.

As seen above:
1. Curtains from the magical place where all things discount originate -- Target. $20, a tension rod, and !voila! - instant softening of hard-edged, sterile, white office.
2. Old ass chair. Clearly this chair has self-esteem issues.
3. New, fabulous chair.
4. Phone and internet wires hanging out of ceiling. Stylish, eh?
5. White, press-board desk. In a job where seriously gorgeous furniture is at my discounted disposal, I have a white desk made entirely of MDF. Go figure.

(This is not a complaint - I have been offered a fabulous office redesign with beautiful cabinets and desks, but have not had the time to move the project forward)

As seen above:
1. Post-its. My desktop to-do list has to be on brightly colored post-its, otherwise I completely forget my tasks for the day.
2. Leg of skanky, old chair, now reserved for special guests that want to sit down and talk to me at my desk. Who said I never contributed to the welfare of my coworkers?!
3. Diet Coke, preferably from McDonalds. If that tacky, absorbable, stone coaster is empty, it's a fairly accurate indication that I'm going to be crabby.
4. Weird pressboard wall -- currently covering a door-size hole between my office and the office of a co-worker. I needed quiet, what can I say?