Wild Card
Thursday, September 30, 2004
I'm leaving shortly to attend the Chicago Cubs V. Cincinnati Reds game. I cannot believe that the Houston Astros (over the past 2 days of baseball follies) are now in the lead for the NL wild card race. Sick. I admit to once owning a Houston Astros cap, but only b/c it was in my HS colors, and had a star on the front.

The Cubs had better step it up, and QUICK. I'd hate for the Red Sox to be the first perpetual-losers to clinch it all. I'd rather it be my lovable losers, the Chicago Cubs. In Dusty we trusty. Hopefully they won't throw it all away this afternoon, like they did yesterday.

Insulin Shock
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
I found something online that was disturbing on so many levels, I can't even begin to explain. You know those candy necklaces everyone used to try and wear in junior high? YOU KNOW, the ones where you risk your overall dental health (and several chipped teeth) when trying to bite one of the tiny pieces off the elastic threading? Ringing any bells yet? They looked a little strange, and after a few bites became slobbery and eventually sticky. Needless to say, I wasn't a fan.

I'm still not, as I found out yesterday. A company in England manufactures candy g-string underwear. For only 5 pounds (convert it yourself), you can own your very own pair of candy panties. Can somebody please explain this to me?! It's a g-string! Need I say more?! This is not only criminal from a fashion perspective, but I have to imagine it is also incredibly uncomfortable and horrendously unsanitary. To join in the insanity, visit I Want One of Those to purchase.

Monday, September 27, 2004
So I'm stealing a clever idea from my friend P, who took one of those ultra-annoying, time-consuming (but we all still love them) "all about you" emails and posted the answers on her blog. It has become increasingly obvious to me that people outside of my group of friends are reading this blog- so here's a little bit more about me, for all you strangers out there.

1. First Name? Jamie
2. Were you named after anyone? The story I've always been told is that my older sister named me after a person she saw in a commercial for vegetables.
3. Do you wish on stars? No.
4. Which finger is your favorite? I like my middle fingers
5. When did you last cry? I have to admit, I came VERY close to tearing up during a scene in "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement." Pathetic, i know.
6. Do you like your handwriting? Not particularly. I'm always complimented on it, but I can never decide between printing & cursive, so it's more of a ongoing conflict for me.
7. What is your favorite lunch meat? Hickory-smoked ham
8. Any bad habits? Picking at my feet, forgetting to do the dishes, leaving half-full cans of Diet Coke all over my apartment
9. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? Juvenile's CD single of "Back that Ass Up."
10. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I honestly don't know. I can be a bit of a drama queen.
11. Are you a daredevil? Not at all- I am boring. The craziest thing i've ever done is wear a brown bag with black shoes.
12. Have you ever told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? Yes.
13. Do looks matter? Everytime I say yes to this question, I'm proven wrong by someone that I meet. So I've learned to say no, because it's actually the truth.
14. Where is your second home? The "Coachhouse"
15. Do you trust others easily? Yes.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? I highly enjoyed ColorForms, and those little plastic figurines whose clothing snapped on and off like armor.
17. What class in school do you think is totally useless? Enriched Patterns of Communication-- sorry Mrs. Billone, but the Odyssey and the Iliad weren't about communication at all. That's what I like to call FALSE ADVERTISING. And you wonder why I flunked the unit?
18. Do you have a journal? I have managed to start several in my life, but I can never seem to finish them. I lack the self-discipline.
19. Do you use sarcasm? Who, me?? No, not at all.
20. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Hell, no. I'd just end up bruised and smelly.
21. What do you look for in a guy? Honesty, patience, and a sense of humor.
22. What are your nicknames? J, Double-J, Red, James, Jamerz,
23. Would you ever bungee-jump? No.
24. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Sometimes.
25. Do you think that you are strong? In certain situations, yes.
26. Shoe size? My right foot is a 6.5, my left is a 7.
27. How many wisdom teeth do you have? 0
28. Who do you miss at this moment? my grandpa Wilbur
29. What are you listening to right now? sirens on Michigan Avenue
30. What's the last thing you ate? A strawberry cupcake and Diet Coke. Breakfast of champions.
31. Who is the last person you talked to? Yvette, a coworker.
32. Eye color? Hazel-y green/grey.
33. Do you wear contacts? No.
34. Siblings? 1 older sister.
35. Favorite month? November
36. Favorite food? Picnic food- hot dogs, hamburgers, potato salad & baked beans
37. Last movie you watched? Emma
38. Favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving Day
39. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Yes.
40. Relationships or one night stands? Relationships.
41. What book are you reading? None, if you can believe it. I just finished "back roads" by Tawni O'Dell.

Thursday, September 23, 2004
Autumn is upon us, which means three things:
1. I will start wearing fleece jackets more often (my favorite outerwear).
2. The number of pedicures performed worldwide will decrease dramatically.
3. My favorite type of apples will be harvested!

To further prove that I am, in fact, an enormous nerd...I would like to announce that it is now the official season for Honeycrisp Apples. According to this informative website, the harvests (which are spread across the 48 contiguous states) are starting to come in. You can order bushels and bushels of apples ahead of time with certain orchards OR you can go picking for apples yourself! Very rarely can I find Honeycrisps in the local grocery store, or farmers market.

For your information, the honeycrisp apple is a sweet, semi-hard apple. It has JUST a hint of peach taste to it, and the texture is perfect. Not at all mealy, and very crisp and light. I'm tellin' ya...you have to eat it to believe it.

For more information, visit the following sites:
Honeycrisp Info
Honeycrisp Apple Growers
National Orchard Listing

Hazzah! It's autumn!

Wednesday, September 22, 2004
In all honesty, I'm not sure where I stand on this year's presidential election. Scratch that-- I know who I'll be voting for, but I'm not 100% sure why I'm voting for that particular person. With all the smear tactics that politicians use, and all the false advertising, I simply can't keep my opinions organized. If there is one thing I hate more than ANYTHING, it's feeling disorganized.

Someone sent me this link on Monday and frankly, it scared the bejeezus out of me. If someone can make this convincing a case against a person, who's to say that the opposite couldn't also be true? I believe that it's important to vote and exercise one's hard-won rights to choose...but I'm not exactly in love with either candidate, or their platforms. Is this God's way of giving me one more decision to BS my way through?

Whatever your decision is, VOICE IT. Vote. All the cool kids are doing it.

A Little Pick-me-Up
Monday, September 20, 2004
I would like to take my blog time today to investigate the motivation behind cheezy pick-up lines. Is it actually the spoken word that is cheezy, or is any pick-up line made cheezy by its inherent purpose, and the context in which it is generally spoken? I would love to hear from anyone that actually fell for a bad pick-up line and had things work out normally. I would hate being a man-- too much pressure to initiate things: scheduling dates, starting up random conversations, proposing marriage, etc. How incredibly nerve-wracking must that be?

In all seriousness, I applaud every man for dealing with the pressures that society places on men, and the expectations that create that stress. HOWEVER, nothing justifies comments like, "Pardon me, have you seen my missing nobel prize around here anywhere?" or, "You make my software turn to hardware!" Just try googling the phrase "Cheezy Pick Up Lines." It's worth an entire day of entertainment.

Other perennial favorites:

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Horrible. Simply horrible.

Back to Business
Monday, September 13, 2004
I'm finally done with my crazy month of traveling, and couldn't be happier about it. Talk about a drain on my energy and patience- even vacationing somehow seems semi-stressful when there's plane transit involved. In the past month, I have been in Chicago, New York, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Sonoma, and Galena. I must be crazy. SMD, how do you do it?!

On the flip side, I've gotten a chance to spend time with some of my most favorite people on this earth, so that's an incredible bonus. Thanks to all of you (you know who you are) for keeping me grounded, thinking positive, and laughing. Someday, I'll figure out how to post photos, and be able to share more than just half-thought-out text on this site.

Thursday, September 09, 2004
So I have an announcement- I'm a parent, sort of. After months of debating, writing pro/con lists, and talking endlessly to everyone I know about it, I've decided to adopt a dog. Tuesday I drove to Dowagiac, Michigan, to pick up a 20# mutt mix of Black Labrador and Dachshund. His name is Doc, and he's incredibly well behaved for a former stray. I'll admit-- driving home, I was thinking, "My God, what have I done? I can't handle a dog." But now I realize that my fears were in vain, and it was so important that I give him a home that he deserves.

I encourage all my readers (all 11 of you) to go out and do something nice for an animal today, tomorrow, this weekend, whenever. There are so many of them just waiting for some time and love, both of which are easy to give and make a world of difference. Have a great weekend everyone!

Lift, Drag & Thrust
Thursday, September 02, 2004
No, this posting is not about what you think it's about-- get your mind out of the gutter!

Today, I will embark on my second round-trip flight across our beautiful land. Boy, am I ever excited. After reading a recent post from Phaneromania, I was reminded of something. Well, two things actually:

1: I am reminded of why Paula and I get along so well. An unlikely pair, I'll admit, but one of the most rewarding friendships I've ever had.

2: Airports. I hate them. I think the FAA secretly mandates that airports release stupid dust through the vents & ducts. Side effects of this dust include: loss of common sense, loss of control over children traveling in your group, slow and aimless walking, loss of control over strollers, and the sudden paralysis of directional skills. There are maps of the airport posted EVERYWHERE. There is signage EVERYWHERE. Why, then are people still wandering around, wondering where the hell they're going?! Somebody throw me a bone, here. Does everyone else know where they are going, and I'm the one who is lost?!

Airports are the reason that human child-leashes were invented. Airports are the cause of those bizarre, recline-able, seated massage chairs with the weird donut-shaped headrests. Airports make people think they are invisible, making possible a display of bad taste in clothing available for all to see: short-shorts in a variety of colors and fabrics (denim is my personal fave), pajamas, slippers, suits with pearls, gloves, and a hat-- you name it, you'll see it at the airport. It makes me want to put on a light-blocking blindfold, find a quiet corner, and pretend that it just doesn't exist.