Meme From All & Sundry Friday, December 29, 2006

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?
I bought a condo.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Confucius say: Have no self-discipline, make no resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank Goodness.

5. What countries did you visit?
Just the good ol’ US of A – but I saw a lot of it!

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Self-restraint in regards to personal finances and budgeting.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Hmmm, I’m not good with dates…I guess September 11th, because I closed on my condo that day and have never been so terrified in my entire life.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I obtained a job in an industry that I find interesting, with a company that I actually like, and I don’t plan on leaving any time soon. Those 3 things, in and of themselves, are a major developmental accomplishment for me. You have no idea – I get so easily bored, I call it a “9-month” itch.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being careful about what I put in my mouth, and being even less careful about what comes out of it.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No (furiously knocking on wood)

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Besides the apartment, my favorite things purchased are my books. And I purchased many of them in 2006, because I am a crazy person when it comes to books.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Sean got a big promotion, and my father finally retired! Two very big celebrations!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Unfortunately, my extended group of friends lost a comrade this year to a situation in which oversensitivity, misunderstanding, and the inability to accept others as they are reigned supreme. Someone made some assumptions, got their feelings hurt for no reason, and willingly chose to drop us all as friends. As hurtful as it may have been (for one person in particular), I think we all hope that the person who so unceremoniously “dumped” us will, ultimately, be happy.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Condo, Books, Diet Coke, Fabulous but Unnecessary Apparel. In that order.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Honestly? Going to Talladega and seeing the NASCAR track there, riding in a car, and seeing Sean drive. It was really unique and amazing.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
I refuse to pick one, so here are four:
“Who Says You Can’t go Home” – Bon Jovi w/Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland
“Promiscuous” – Nelly Furtado
“Would you Go With Me” – Josh Turner
“SOS” – Rihanna

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?
Happier, Fatter, and N/A.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Dancing. Classes are so expensive, and really truly the only kind of physical exercise that I don’t find skull-numbingly boring.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Whining.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Spent Christmas with my immediate family, as always. I don’t know how much longer we’ll be able to celebrate that way, but we’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

21. What was your favorite TV program?
“My Boys” on TBS. So hilarious, and true to the 20 and 30-somethings in Chicago.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t HATE anybody. Hate is a very strong word.

23. What was the best book you read?
I could never pick one, but I did enjoy Marley & Me, as well as The Other Boleyn Girl.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Sam Stryke, Snow Patrol, and The Dixie Chicks (again!)

25. What did you want and get?
Happiness, continued friendship, and organization.

26. What did you want and not get?
Rich.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
Talladega Nights, The Holiday

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went to work (it was a Wednesday, I think), had dinner w/friends, turned 27.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Winning the lottery.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Try not to forget pants before walking out the door.

31. What kept you sane?
My dog, and oddly enough, this blog.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I’m not really enamored of anyone in particular, but I must admit that I’m drawn to Matthew McConaughey. I try not to pay attention to the fact that he’s clearly insane, perhaps a touch gay, and usually sweaty and/or high as a kite. I prefer to imagine him as he was in “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.” Also well documented: my love for William Petersen from CSI.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?
I try not to think too much about politics – I don’t know enough to form a truly educated opinion, and I tend to get really focused on only a single issue at a time. I can’t handle it all simultaneously. I think what upsets me the most is the war in Iraq, but what about all the other horrendous things going on in places like Darfur, Afghanistan, and here in the US where fur companies skin animals when they’re still alive? What about homelessness? What about child abuse? What about the nuclear fallout in Russia – where people are walking around Chernobyl with misshapen arms, legs, and faces? Where do you draw the line? See what I mean?

In order to stem my inability to care for all things at once, I give time and money to the Avon Foundation for Breast Cancer Research, Prevention & Treatment, as well as St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.

34. Who did you miss?
My grandfather.

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
Measure twice, cut once.

Keeps the Doctor Away Thursday, December 28, 2006

After months of consternation, hemming, hawing, and general wringing of hands and rending of garments, I have settled on buying myself an Apple.


Since portability really isn't a necessity for me (ergo, no laptop), I went into the Apple Store yesterday to discuss desktops. (which, um, hello?! post-Christmas chaos! what on earth was I thinking?!) It sounds like the iMac is the right choice for my needs, and it will look good on my desktop. When it comes to form and function, I'm typically more interested in the form. I realize this is backwards, but it's just the way I am. LOVE ME FOR MY FRIVOLOUS TASTE IN PRODUCT DESIGN, OR LEAVE ME.

Either way, I get all excited and run it past Sean (who is my computer superhero and resident sounding board) and he informs me that it would be prudent to wait until AFTER MacWorld to purchase. MacWorld is next week, ya'll. I don't know if I can wait that long - restraint isn't exactly one of my strong suits. But I guess I'm going to wait it out, in case they make an announcement that would affect the configuration and/or pricing on what I want to buy.

So I'm just here, computerless and unable to check my email from work, waiting.

...


...


...


Still waiting.

Gifts Both Tangible and Intangible Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Christmas has come and gone, and I find myself wondering about some things, like...

How on earth does my sister find time to update her blog?! Seriously, I spent almost 2 full days with her children and like most kids, they take up pretty much every bit of attention. You cannot relax when they are around -- I mean, they're damn cute and I would jump in front of a speeding bus without hesitation to save them, but one really has to be prepared to hang with the toddlers. My God, the energy that must take on a daily basis. Yowza.

How can it be that I get so inordinately excited over receiving presents like shoe organizers, salad spinners, and onion choppers? I used a Crate&Barrel gift certificate to purchase new flatware this morning (thanks, Sally Field!) and a thrill shiver ran straight down my back. Also, I was excited to receive Pledge Multi Surface Wipes, Chapstick, and Bounce's freshing lint roller. When did I become so randomly domestic?

Doc got gifts from the other dogs in our extended family. Do any other families out there do this? Seriously, folks, is it really necessary? I get that it's cute and a novelty of sorts, but Doc received a Christmas gift from my parent's dachshund Gretel. Posthumously. Gretel died YEARS AGO. I don't understand.

Just like every year, Christmas in our family is a fest-a-palooza of tissue paper scraps, puzzling gift tags written by my father (Example: To Adam from Juan the Mexican Elf), and eating continously throughout the day in an effort to totally jack up our appetites. We are all so lucky and blessed to have our health, to have one another, and to have the things that so many do not possess.

I hope that all of you got the chance to eat too much, be spoiled, and spend time with the people that matter most. Happy Holidays!

Reading Friday, December 22, 2006

Later that night, Bing and Rosemary meet in the bar to sing at each other about sheep and blessings while eating liverwurst sandwiches and buttermilk, which explains why she gained 300 pounds and why he beat his kids. Then other things happen and Rosemary gets pissed at Bing because he's bogarting all the "snow" and she runs off to New York like the drama queen she is.


Seriously? I'm laughing so hard over here that I just snorted. This article brings to light some finer points of my favorite holiday movie EVER. E-V-E-R.

Snap Crackle Pop Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I have an extreme aversion to all thing "crack-able" - backs, fingers, etc. I can't STAND it when people crack their knuckles in front of me, or twist around to grab the back of a chair and crack their backs. (SHUDDDEEERRRRR - gah!) There's just something about the fact that the noise originates from the popping of gas bubbles in/around bones that makes it seem as if perhaps it's just NOT a natural thing to do. Not to mention the fact that it has a hand in making the body less resistant to conditions such as arthritis.

Full disclosure: Sometimes I have to pop my hips and toes due to old dance injuries (and perhaps some early arthritis) but I don't even like it when I have to do it.

Can someone please explain to me that appeal of this habit? Any knuckle crackers out there? I just don't understand.

Jamie BlotHer Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Get it? Blotter? BlotHer? OK...geez...moving on.

So I have bad news and good news -- and I alway like hearing the bad news first. I went out around 7:45 this morning to walk the dog, and to what did my wondering eyes first appear? Flashing lights, yellow crime tape, and a person being zipped into a body bag. I wish I were making this up. Just behind my building is parking lot bordered by a metered street - a rather major one, at that. Apparently the city had come around to tow a car from one of the parking meters (rush hour restrictions being what they are) and noticed that there was a man sitting inside the car. When he didn't respond, they saw that his tongue was distended, black as pitch, and that he was clearly deceased. It's a shame, really, but goes to show that when the city needs to respond quickly to something, it actually happens. Shouldn't be too hard to figure out what happened - he was driving a really nice car with dealer plates. Most of these details came directly from the mouth of one my building's maintenance guys who saw the whole thing go down...I spoke with him just after the dog decided to take an enormous crap about 6 inches from the crime tape, resulting my receiving somewhat dirty looks from the police onsite.

I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go.

In other, far more exciting news, I received a Christmas gift in the mail yesterday from my friend AM!


It was a big ol' bucket full of homemade peanut brittle. SO YUMMY, PEOPLE. I briefly considered bringing it into the office to be shared, and then immediately decided to keep it at home so that I could eat all of its sticky, yummy, salty goodness myself. :) THANK YOU, AM! I love it. You made my day!

Reading Monday, December 18, 2006

It was an odd thing to keep a private cemetery so large without assistance or official sanction. Carrie knew this. She didn't much care. The war had come to her one day, suddenly and with an otherworldly insistence that wasn't the work of the sovereign God she thought she had known. Who else could understand that, except perhaps the dead men in her cemetery? She would not give up her little part of the war; she would not let the war invade and then disappear without a trace, as if there were no need for a reckoning, no way to atone for the great crime. She has long determined to hold on to it by the tail.

Now All I Need is a Roaring Fire Friday, December 15, 2006

If you even remotely enjoy music by James Taylor, Alice Peacock, Billy Joel, or even some of Paul Simon's more mellow stuff, you need to go purchase Sam Stryke's holiday CD entitled "Christmas." You can purchase it directly from his website. The instrumentation is phenomenal, and turns this CD into a holiday classic. I've been listening to it all day.

Here is a small clip of the lone vocal track on the album, featuring Alice Peacock herself.



Go forth now, and purchase!

Tour du Jour

I don't know why my posts have been so photo-heavy this week, but I'm just going to roll with it. Especially considering that my cell phone camera no longer works correctly thanks to a quick bounce it took in the parking lot of my local Target last week - in my defense, I had to fight for my parking spot using my black-belt kungfu car maneuvering skills and my rabid annoyance at being at Target in December. There was freezing rain involved, and I was certain my car was going to be keyed by some irritated shopper, so really, dropping my phone was the least of my problems.

ANYHOW...Jesus, the tangentials! I thought I'd leave you all with a tour of my Christmas tree. I guess TECHNICALLY it's a "holiday" tree - because it contains Jewish-friendly ornaments with custom sayings on them courtesy of my friend Keith. Phrases like "Mel Gibson makes the baby Jesus cry." Also, there is a Star of David on the tree (also Keith's handiwork) made of drinking straws.

I made the ornament below as a child - it was my first brush with the bedazzled glory of a little accessory we call the sequin. Little did I know how instrumental the sequin would become throughout the course of my life.

Here we see a photo I wanted to use as my desktop background, until I realized that it's basically just a photo of a huge hole in the tree. Which is annoying, and has since been fixed.

I have put these same candy canes on my trees since 2001. Don't try to eat one. They don't taste very good - just take my word for it, ok?

This treetopper was purchased on a much less stressful trip to Target, and was only $4.99! I used to have an angel that sat on top o' the tree, but that only prompted disgusting jokes from my friends, so she's been benched until they all grow up. (assuming that ever happens)

And here she is, the full tree. (and books covering dog crap spot).

Only 10 days 'til Christmas! Have a great weekend, everybody.

Attention Moviegoers! Thursday, December 14, 2006

Is moviegoers even a word? Whatever. It is now, BEYOTCH.

I've been rethinking my Netflix queue -- upon subscribing, I added things haphazardly. (I would use the word "willy nilly" to describe it, but I stringently BAN that phrase - I hate it. Almost as much as I hate the words creamery, moist, glandular, and seepage. But enough with the parentheticals...)

Anyhow, I've been thinking that I need some input on the items in my line-up. Here are the top 35 films from my queue - won't you please let me know what you think? I'm trusting you here, dear readers, to refrain from judgment on this one. Lord knows, my taste isn't the issue at hand. I just want to know that I'm not about to get 20 consecutive bombs in my mailbox - like watching "Dr. T and The Women" repeatedly until I gouge my own eyeballs from my head. Got it? So if you really hated one of the movies below, let me know immediately so I can reconsider.

The Devil Wears Prada
The Constant Gardener
NASCAR: The IMAX Experience
Memoirs of a Geisha
Super Size Me (I've seen only the first half)
The Stepford Wives
The Turning Point
Failure to Launch
The Red Shoes
Etoile: Dancers of the Paris Opera Ballet
Closer
Delovely
The Importance of Being Earnest
The Anniversary Party
Duets (which I've already seen, and LOVE, I admit it, I do)
Gosford Park
Take the Lead
Last Holiday
Living Out Loud
She's The Man
The English Patient
Terms of Endearment
Kramer V. Kramer
American Ballet Theatre: The Dream
Paul Taylor - Dancemaker
You Can't Take it With You
Out of Africa
An Unfinished Life
The Thing Called Love
An Evening wih the Dixie Chicks
The Royal Tenenbaums
Annie Hall
Persuasion
Spellbound
Sunset Boulevard

Okay...let 'er rip! Thank you!

In Which I Moan with Gastrointestinal Pleasure

I'm not ashamed to admit that I recently developed an obsession with Starbucks' Ginger Molasses cookies. They're huge, fatty, full of calories, and OH. SO. UNBELIEVABLY. DELICIOUS. Stop reading this blog, and go get yourself one. Or two. Go, NOW, go!

And while you're there, could you maybe pick one up for me? (bats eyelashes) Please?

It's Craptastic! Wednesday, December 13, 2006

(sung to the tune of Tennessee Ernie Ford's "Sixteen Tons")

Half an hour late, and what do ya get?
A nasty stench, and a gift from your pet.
He's torn apart your shelves just to take a quick nap,
and left you a surprise - a steaming pile of crap!

(wild applause! wild applause!)

For the second time in as many weeks, Doc has decided that he can't wait until I come home to relieve himself all over the carpet. Not to mention that he keeps choosing the spot of carpet right in front of the Christmas tree. Perhaps he's offering up gifts to the Baby Jesus, perhaps he just can't keep it in...either way, it's seriously wearing on my nerves. I almost took a picture of the incident, but as far as I know, no blogger telling a story about poop (canine or otherwise) has ever posted a photo of said excrement. I'm not about to be the first to offend. Instead, I present you with a photo of the area after the biohazard team swept through -- (click to enlarge)

Underneath the three heaviest books that I own is a towel. Soaking up the remainder of the soapy water and rinse water, it will soon be added to a small pile headed for either a bleachy bath, or the incinerator. Perhaps I will send the dog there along with the towels, because this is too much for me to handle.

I really don't want to crate him for the entire day (which I did for about 2 years) but if it keeps him from pooping all over creation, I don't see as I have a choice in the matter.

Let's add, now, to the mix. Instead of just lying on the couch during the day, or curling up on the big bed, Doc chooses to pull the clean laundry off of my dressing area shelves and make himself a nest. If there's dirty laundry about, he prefers that, but since I temporarily have my act together? No underwear and sweatpants in which to nestle.

It's a dog life. Witness last night's destruction - including an actual tipped shelf, spilled exercise clothing, and my fleece robe pulled half out of the hamper.

Can you find the sleeping area? It was still warm when I got home - I suppose taking an enormous DUMP was really exhausting. I'll help you out...


The orange circle is the sleeping spot. The green arrow points to a bin of hats, now upside down. He has tipped, and slept in, those before. The pink arrow indicates the location of aforementioned detached shelf. The yellow arrows point out a bin of exercise clothing and pair of thermal leggings. You know, because I ski and exercise SO OFTEN. The red arrow points to an embarassing pair of brown clogs that I bought at Payless a year ago, and refuse to get rid of because they're so damn comfortable, and they make me feel like the owner of a bed & breakfast in Vermont.

I just can't wait to see what awaits me when I get home tonight. Or can I?

Sparkly, Shiny, Irresistable, OH MY! Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Every so often, I get a glimpse of the people my parents would have been had they never reproduced. (not that I'm not grateful for the whole conception thing) Since they are now both retired, there is also a "whole heapin' loads of free time" factor at play. Case in point: Last week, my father saw an advertisement for the One of a Kind Show & Sale Chicago.

Half a day later, he called me to inform me that he'd bought 4 tickets and that I was invited. Random, no? The event turned out to be really fantastic, and some of the best people watching this side of the Mississippi! Plus, a portion of the Opening Night proceeds went to benefit the Children's Memorial Hospital here in Chicago - a nationally reknowned facility for kids. Who could say no?

Some of my favorite vendors-->

John/Christine Designs
Amazing, unique jeweled pieces.

Olde Good Things
Unbelievable prices on salvage stuff - I particularly loved their use of salvage tin ceiling tiles - made into fabulous mirrors and wall decor. SO COOL.


Erin Tracy Designs
Funky, earthy jewelry - I especially loved the stackable ring sets.

Glenna Evans Photography
Minimal, stunning images.

Foodstuffs
Because who doesn't love food?

Also, there was this unbelievable pot guy that made his own steel and copper pots. they were seriously gorgeous, but also seriously expensive. In my dream house, this is what would sit in my foyer, looking pretty and serving no purpose whatsoever --



All in all, a night well spent.

'Tis the Season to Be Jolly Monday, December 11, 2006

My book club had its annual Holiday Dinner & Book Exchange on Friday night where I received (and rudely negotiated/fought to keep) The Widow of the South. I also drank a mysteriously large amount of wine, blacked out from approximately 10:15 pm to 12:20pm, and proceeded to get sick for the next hour or so. I relied on Sean to recount the moments after I returned home, and sheepishly asked my parents how I had gotten home (a ride from them, thank God, where I apparently kept rolling down the window either for fresh air, or potential vomitous maximous).

I will not insert any of the photos Sean took of me with my head hanging over the toilet, or perhaps the ones of my lying prone on the bathroom floor, here - but instead, fill the space with non-drunk photos of berries and candles! How festive! I am in total denial! Feliz Navidad!


I haven't had a hangover like that in. my. entire. life. And I was in a sorority. It was a pretty festive event - as far as book clubs go, it was a rager - and broke up shortly before midnight (or so I hear). My father laughed out loud the next day at my obvious misery, saying "I've never seen you quite so...zippy."

I threw up blood - zippy, indeed.

In other news, I think my massive reaction to the alcohol was due, in part, to the semi-sickness that I acquired late last week. I wasn't feeling well at the beginning of the party, so instead of just NOT DRINKING YOU STUPID IDIOT, I got happy on Electric Reindeer Merlot. (the mere thought of consuming red wine makes me immediately nauseous, even now...urp) Oh GOD, the shame of being blitzed on cheap wine. It hangs over me like the cloak of death.

Saturday, my mother had graciously scheduled a "girls day out" at the Elizabeth Arden Salon on Michigan Ave -- a cut and color for her, a cut and makeup for my sister, and a facial plus manicure for me. I made it through the facial, but probably only because I was lying down. The minute I sat up, I requested that my esthetician cancel my next appointment. I knew I wouldn't make it, so I took my sorry ass home to sleep it off.

Saturday afternoon, we had a family outing to Lucky Strike Lanes for bowling, christmas gifts, and food. It was an exciting day for us all - the twentysomethings all received generous giftcards, my nephew was walking (!), and to be frank, my niece was excited over just about everything -- hairspray in her hair, a box of Froot Loops that she was carrying around and shaking like a maraca, and also? Bowling shoes.



I was excited that I made it through the meal and event without vomiting. RAWK!

Sunday, I made Chipotle Turkey Chili with a degree of success. I needed to do something with the leftover turkey from last weekend's hangover (er, I mean party). It is super yummy, and definitely something I plan on making again.

I also plan on being sober for the rest of my life.

What did YOU do this weekend?

Doubled Over in Laughter Thursday, December 07, 2006

The Chicago Tribune has started up a reader photo submission section - Pictures of kiddies scared to sit on Santa's lap. It may be the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Enjoy.

Kiss The Cook

Do you read Jonniker? If you don't, you should. She always manages to find a way to make me laugh out loud, sometimes even snort. At work.

Lately, she's been talking about cooking. This morning, it occurred to me that I have been cooking a lot lately - and I don't really know why. Perhaps it's the holidays, perhaps it's the new condo's kitchen - which is still comparatively small but feels like a palace after my last apartment's "kitchen." I use quotes because I am confident that the landlord crafted the cooking area out of an old vestibule. Awesome.

To wit, here is a list of new recipes I have made successfully in the past 3 months.

Spiced Molasses Cookies
Turkey
Cheesy Garlic Mashed Potato Casserole
Sloppy Joes
Roasted Sweet Potatoes & Onions
Chocolate Pound Cake
Burrito Pie
Amish Casserole (sort of a poor man's lasagna)

I know this doesn't sound like a lot in 3 months, but for me?! For me, this is groundbreaking. Most of the recipes I try come from "food porn" sites like Something So Clever and Smitten Kitchen. This is to say nothing of the fabulous recipes that I like to steal from The Food Network and All Recipes.

I think I will cook some more this weekend - hell hasn't frozen over just yet.

Any recipe suggestions?

Tragic Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I feel compelled to write something about the tragedy surrounding the discovery of James Kim in the Oregon wilderness. I have been obsessively refreshing the family website that was created to update the public on breaking developments in the hunt.

I know that the loss of 1 man is, at least statistically, nothing compared to disasters like Hurricane Katrina and the Indonesian Tsunami...but when it comes down to the loss of life, do metrics really even apply? There is no way to quantify suffering, grief, and tragedy. The optimist in me wants to say something cliche, like "at least he traveled far and had his family's welfare in mind," or "he had a good life," but the cold, hard fact is that a man has died, 2 children are now without a father, and a good woman has lost the love of her life.

And that? That is infinitely sad.

My prayers and thoughts go out to the families of James and Kati Kim.

Reading

First off, I have to say that anyone who goes into Kohl's during holiday shopping season and takes the very last cart that has a child seat and that person does not have a child should be shot on sight. Not enough to kill them maybe, but definitely a flesh wound that would render them incapable of shopping for at least the rest of the season, because that person, that person is going to hell. Well, I don't believe in hell, but if I did, anyone taking a cart with a child seat that does not have a child is evil. Pure, unmitigated evil.

Christmas Card Hell Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Last year, I snapped a lucky shot with lucky lighting and decided that my dog (resplendent in his aubergine jingle bell collar) would grace my 2005 holiday card. People thought it was adorable, hilarious, and promptly told me that they expected an even better photo for 2006. This has led to a bizarre sense of obligation and pressure in the past month or so...and I have struggled with the photo, believe me.

You try wrangling a semi-dumb (but very cute) dog into various holiday "outfits" and then expecting him to sit still for the camera. It's a recipe for insanity, is what it is. Below you will see the images that I won't be using - untouched by any kind of photo alteration software.

Behold - the 2006 Holiday Card Reject Photo Album:

Escape!

Here we see Black Tie Doc, scanning the perimeter for any possible emergency exits.

I believe his face says it all in this one. He refused to hold his head up with the antlers on - perhaps from the shame? I suddenly realized how funny it would have been to change his name to "Moose."

Hiding, again, from the embarassment.

And finally, resignation and defeat for the both of us.

This Blog is Too Loud! My head hurts. Monday, December 04, 2006

Ok, so yes, apparently I've now joined the legions of bloggers that post when intoxicated. Classy, no? But I choose NOT to delete that entry (in which I randomly speak French, which...??? wtf?) because I am dedicated to keeping it real.

I've learned a couple things in the past 48 hours.

Number 1: Sean is a patient, patient man. Putting up with a drunk me is a feat known to only a select and talented few. This is the kind of thing I remember when he tells me that my new haircut makes me look like my mother.
Number 2: Dinner parties are WAAAAY easier when you use only disposable dishes and silverware, and also make people show up with food. And people might give you a hostess gift! Who knew?!
Number 3: I should never drink the little juice box style wines from Target, because I will always feel as if I need a straw. Always. And sometimes? I will talk loudly about the fact that they don't come with straws.
Number 4: I am thankful for my friends, and their significant others. Friendship takes work - it takes effort, patience, and trust, especially as we get older and our lives get more complicated. I appreciate that we are all still able to meet and chat and laugh out loud about dumb jokes.

I would post a photo of the dinner party right here, in this portion of the entry but I forgot to yank the card from my camera this morning. I was too hungover, and quite frankly, couldn't even remember if I'd fed the dog this morning! I wasn't about to remember the damn memory card in the camera. I need to go get myself some hash browns, STAT.

Oh, and did I mention today's forecast is a high of 26, and a low of 2 degrees? AWESOME. I am just now regaining feeling in my nose, and I got into the office 45 minutes ago.

I Love The Holidays Sunday, December 03, 2006

Ok, I'm tipsy so we'll make this short. I'm finding it semi-difficult to type, but let's put this way -- perhaps, in the form of bullet points.

- I love the movie "White Christmas." Sean doesn't. He's just going to have to live with this one, as the movie is a non-negotiable on my holiday to-do list.
- My holiday dinner party was a success, even with the folks that are allergic to my precious pup. Thanks for comin', all! I'll be sure to enjoy the leftovers.
- Seriously? 5 Budweisers later, I'm finding it hard to type. Really. I'm done for now. Let's just put it this way - I love my friends. They are my best friends for a reason.

that is all for now - my pajama-clad ass is sayin good-night! au revoir.

Reading Friday, December 01, 2006

The cruelty of children is immense, almost startling in its precision. The kids at the parties were fairly young and, surrounded by adults, they rarely made cruel remarks outright. But their open, uncensored stares were more painful than tht deliberate taunts of my peers at school, where insecurities drove everything and everyone like some looming, evil presence in a haunted machine. But in those back yards, where the grass was mown so short and sharp it would have hurt to walk on it, there was only the fact of me, my face, my ugliness.

Bad Poetry Friday: Snow Day Edition

All summer long I bitched and moaned
complaining I was too hot
Suddenly now we're covered in snow
and my head is full of snot

I love cold weather, it's true you see
Sweaters are all that I wear
but then the snow gets wet and dirty
and I freeze solid - even my hair!

The dog won't poop, not even a little
He's up to his neck in the slush
I don't really blame him because I sure as HELL
Wouldn't piss in the muck and the mush.

They closed the damn subway this morning
which promptly jacked up my commute
I would have appreciated some type of warning
but was lucky that I put on my boots

So I had to wait for the bus
on one of our busiest streets
Where cars going fast spray any poor soul
all over their pants and their feet

The office was buzzing with stories of woe
mostly due to our grand CTA
Debris, malfunctions, and explosions (oh no!)
were the cause of each man's delay

I'm finally here and my pants are still wet
as for snow, we expect even more
Consider this day, my dear little children
and be careful what you wish for.